1. Thursday, June 5, 2003

    hi month of gemini 

    you wicked witch from the west.

    look what youve done to my beautiful wife. look what youve done to my beautiful house.

    some bad guys wanted to send a message to some other bad guys this morning so they took a crane and tipped it over onto a bank.

    people thought the bank was empty but there was something in the bank.

    i cant tell you exactly what was in the bank because maybe the xbi was involved. indirectly.

    maybe it was an accident. if you believe in accidents.

    we dont.

    which is why we dont believe that sammy sosa in the middle of his home run slump picked the only bat out of 75 bats with his name on it that had cork in it.

    which is why if i was commissioner of baseball i would defrock him, expose him, and draw the line of offensive behavior in this, our national pastime.

    judge landis and happy chandler are drinking in their graves.

    meanwhile where is the commissioner of baseball? the king of black eyes. why isnt he xraying all the bats in baseball right now. or cutting them in half or drilling into them.

    baseball has finally come back after years of suffering and over the last few years there has just been one disgrace after another. and yes it bothers me and it hurts me as much as a crane falling upon my heart.

    the commissioner needs to resign right now.

    the new york times upon discovering that they had two rotten apples, got rid of the apples and today got rid of some of their top editors.

    this year my man is corking his bat and roberto alomar is getting a hair cut in the bullpen while his manager is looking around the bench to have him pinch hit.

    and chip caray is still broadcasting.

    and the yankees are still getting away with murder.

    and the commissioner’s daughter is still running a team.

    things are falling apart and you have no idea how i wish that i could get away with doing such a crappy job at my place of employment the way bud selig gets to just cruise around at his.

    i’d suspend sammy for three months and fine him millions.

    madmathias + steve czaben + bettie girl