1. Thursday, June 12, 2003

    i did a lot of fun things today. 

    i wish i could tell you about them.

    today ashley called me from las vegas.

    today i wrote the hottest chick at work an email.

    i said

    hi, did you see old school?

    she wrote back with a

    hi, yes.

    in sales they teach you to keep the customer saying yes.

    the idea is that when you ask for the sale they’ll have a habit of saying yes to you and they’ll feel comfortable saying yes when you want them to.

    i wasnt that sort of salesman.

    i would tell them about their choices and then have them decide.

    sometimes they would want to go home and think about it, and then i would close them, because, well, that was the game.

    if you tricked someone into buying something, eventually they would want to bring it back. lots of times it was within a week.

    then you would have to deal with the return, and very rarely would they exchange it, so i recommend never to trick people into things.

    i would close them by saying i didnt care if they bought that night, but why not think about it while its at your house.

    theories i told them are ok

    but if you have the chance to actually experience it, risk free, well, it would be sorta logical to take it home and try it out.

    later in the day i saw the hottest chick at work at the bagel shop across the street

    some girls take the confidence right out of me.

    i like those girls.

    i like being nervous for no good reason.

    my buddy went to the maxim hundred hottest chick party last night here in hollywood.

    this is a good town for events like those.

    i told this website that i would like to go to hollywood parties for them and write about it as a blog.

    they said whats a blog.

    i told them the wall street journal has a blog and i told them about all the other sites that have blogs and they told me that blogs were juvenile and i said but i want to go to famous peoples homes who are throwing hollywood parties and i want to take pictures of the feet of the famous and the bathrooms and their elbows.

    i told them i wanted to call the blog elbows and assholes.

    i learned that phrase from one of the marines at the xbi. one of the old school ones.

    he said that out in the fight if it was particularilly heavy gunfire they would say we were up in our elbows and assholes in shit.

    they told me that blogs were unprofessional and sent me on my way.

    problem is i have no way.

    i havent seen a naked girl in weeks.

    fuckin president.