1. Tuesday, June 10, 2003

    if i was sammy sosa i would say to myself, 

    why the fuck am i playing baseball right now?

    arent i supposed to be suspended?

    didnt i get totally lucky that all eyes were on me and wrigley and my bats this weekend, and i survived it and my damn team even went two outta three with the bronx bombers, why am i in baltimore?

    if i was sammy sosa i would tell the commish, please lets just do this right now.

    nobody has any class any more. thats the problem,


    these two guys were obviously cheating, i should say, are still cheating in one of my fantasy baseball leagues.

    you know what you get when you win a yahoo fantasy baseball league?

    the screen says congratulations to your team name.

    so why would you cheat?

    anyway, i delivered a few choice lines on the message board because actually playing in the league isnt nerdy enough, i actually am active in this league.

    and i told them how they were cheating and how their trades were horrible and then i signed it, nice work, sosas.

    im not taking all of this very well.

    i wish sammy had just said it was planted.

    or he never did it in the first place.

    i also wish my tivo knew how to understand the mlb package on directv.

    i also wish that the new tsar record would hurry up and come out.

    i also wish the hottest girl at work hadnt been so cute today.

    if there were three books that i could recommend sammy read this summer

    the first would be vurt by jeff noon, psychedelic sci fi from the uk.

    then i would say cruddy by lynda barry, funny sad wonderful

    then i would say read genesis

    then i would say read ten bukowski poems for good luck.