1. Tuesday, June 3, 2003

    people are asking me about the absinthe 

    and thats fine. it is a mysterious thing and i cant really say that i am sold on it just yet.

    i have not experienced the hallucinations that others may have, i didnt feel the urge to cut my ear off like some, and i didnt get the liquidy gorgeous dreams that helped spawn the likes of alice in wonderland.

    all it did was get me a good buzz.

    there is another bottle that has yet to be imbided and i hope to do that with my favorite drinking partner, miss poland, sometime soon. the only problem is shes going to be away for a while and i dont think she cares for the stuff any more.

    people ask me what its made of, i tell them that i dont know. something to do with wormword.

    people ask me if it tastes like black licorice and i tell them no, it tastes like black cough syrup.

    people ask how they should drink it should they get their hands on a bottle from a mysterious stranger like i was lucky enough to be sponsored by.

    this is how i have been drinking it.

    yank a spoon from your heroin-taking roommate. take his lighter too. put a sugar cube on the spoon. pour a generous shot over the sugar. light the spoon on fire. dont get scared. let it cook. dump it into a glass. dont be scared if the glass catches fire.

    be scared if the table and carpet catch fire.

    be scared if your leg catches fire.

    this is all a part of the crazy buzz and strange dreams.

    then add a shot of water, stir the sugar cube, make a toast and shoot it down.

    even under these circumstances its going to be strong and sweet and will burn a path down your throat that will go down to your toes.

    kiss the girl in front of you and then hand her the spoon and repeat.

    thats how i drink it.

    now there are also lots of different fancy absinthe spoons. perhaps i will invest in one or more if my supply keeps coming in. i think crazy spoons are fun, especially if they are useful.

    the point of the absinthe spoon is so that the cooked sugar + liquor can drip into the awaiting glass. i would also like to invest in some proper glasses.

    one thing i learned in college is that there is a sacred ritual to getting shitfaced that is part of the glamourous dance and it is what seperates us from the riff raff.

    enjoy the journey as much as the destination.

    smell the booze, watch the flame, be one with the sugar cube, enjoy the nice kiss.

    tune in next week when we discuss how to program your vcr.

    reverse cowgirl + dumb monkey + cry of capricorn