1. Wednesday, August 27, 2003

    i almost died today. 

    dear prospective employers, i nearly died today.

    crazy lady busdriver ran not one but two red lights this morning blazing down wilshire.

    im not exactly sure what her rush was since there were two red busses ahead of her a few blocks and three behind her. we too were on a red bus. the Rapid. and apparently she was living up to the name.

    first red light was a yellow that turned red within plenty of time for her to stop, but no, she went through it without braking or speeding up at all. that made me think maybe she didnt see it.

    but then on the very next light, plain as day red, red thinking about turning green but not through thinking yet.

    lady didnt care, she finished doing the thinking for it and decided it was a green light. we went through that intersection and i was all, im gonna die.

    all day long i chase guys with guns, break down doors that could be boobie trapped, fist fight with guys who have spent most of their lives in jail, and still i hardly ever think im going to die.

    this morning i was sure someone was going to cross the intersection with their car and slam into our bus and send me careening head first through a pole in the bus and then people would publish this busblog into a book and it would be a best seller, and my mom would be proud, but the millions would be bittersweet. hopefully more sweet than bitter.

    please hire me before i end up tomato soup on the side of the road.

    i have so much love to give.

    when i was sixteen my buddy todd used to blow off stop signs.

    we lived in the sticks in illinois so you could see for miles that no cars or trucks or busses werent coming to the intersection and he wouldnt even slow down, he would just bust right through it. and when youre sixteen its sorta thrilling.

    in a stupid teenage midwestern bored out of our skull way.

    if i had died today at least i wouldnta had to do all the work i have to do. which is thankless. and miserable.

    if i had died today at least i wouldnta had to do my dishes which are piling up because my maid gave birth a month ago and i feel weird asking a momma to get away from her newborn to clean up my crappy casa.

    if i had died today i wouldnt have to watch any more of this ridiculous governer’s recall election thing. the same one that inspired my photo essay of a few weeks ago, which apparently is the biggest hit in sweden. if you look at my site meter, it seems that people are forwarding an email and in the email its saying something like, check out this photo essay.

    if any of you swedes are reading this and you got the email, post it in the comments or email it to me. translated, preferably, but im very curious whats in it thats bringing people here.

    hola, swedes.

    in other news, splinkgirl has put her blog on vacation, something that i would like to do at some point but this bus is flying down wilshire as fast as can be and nothing looks like its going to stop it any time soon.

    not even sudden death.

    dougie gyro + tiffany + coyote