1. Monday, August 4, 2003

    one day i’ll get married. 

    i might be 209, but the day will come.

    i might not be the shooting guard for the lakers but i will marry a nice girl and i can guarantee you one thing, i wont ever cheat on her.

    i can guarantee you another thing, if i ever did, in a moment of weakness, cheat on my young bride, i would not buy her a $4 million ring.

    a big gaudy ring that if i ever looked at i would remember the colorado teen who accused me of sexual crimes and her young ass that i tapped.

    why would you want to remember that?

    why would you want a glittery sparkely expensive albatross around your lover’s finger?

    other than for resale value.

    i bet you right now you could get $6 million for that $4 million ring.

    maybe $8 million.

    its the most famous $4 million ring ive ever seen. and the dumbest.

    if i cheated on my hot wife and i wanted to make it up to her financially i would buy her a $4 million rose orchard and let her run the place.

    id name the roses “kobes”. theyd be expenisive roses. like $100 a dozen.

    for when you really love your girl.

    or really

    for when you royally f up.

    on sad days my wife could stroll through her acres of roses and smell the lovliness that sin has ironically brought her way. and on happy days she could see the bottom line that the business venture has reaped her way.

    imagine the dynamic that men and women could have in the future:

    man: im so sorry baby.

    woman: yeah, sorry you got CAUGHT.

    man: no really baby, im so so sorry.

    woman: i know you’re going to get me some kobes.

    man: baby im gonna get you two dozen kobes.

    woman: so you really ARE sorry, arent you?

    man: oh yes i am. of course i am.

    woman: oh i love you.

    man: i love you too.

    once again, the busblog helping mankind before lunchtime on a monday morning.

    metropolio + bloopy + riley dog