people say nice things to me every day.

youd think id get better at accepting compliments, but today someone very nice said something very very nice and i said, i hope youre not lying.

tonight is the first night of survivor. one of my favorite shows. they threw everyone off the boat with their clothes on.

after they swam to shore, built their shelter, etc., this man, a very funny bearded hippy guy in his late 40s had one of the young ladies cut her dress in half so he could make a skirt with the bottom portion.

after he put on the skirt he hung his wet jeans on a tree branch and said, im never wearing those pants again.

i cant believe tomorrow is friday already.

i cant believe that finally a democrat stood up soberly,

raised his hand,

and when pointed at

called bullshit.

and i really cant believe

it was a kennedy.

but i can believe that the kennedy story has been up since 5pm, and here it is 7 hours later and drudge would rather lead you to hurricane stories, articles on how the new dem candidate – the general – would have backed the iraq war, and stories on how a woman sued after finding a tooth in her soup, and how another woman got $150k for a bad haircut. but he’s not going to tell you about one of the most famous democrats alive calling out the president

for fraud.

thats not interesting news, matt drudge?

what about the fact that kennedy speculated that the president of the united states was stealing up to $2 billion a month to bribe foreign countries to send troops to iraq.

seems to me that some readers might be even mildly curious as to why the elder statesman would accuse our president of such crimes.

are you waiting to hear what rush wants to say about it first?

towel boy to the rich.

theres always a time to sell out, of course,

but when you do it,

dont call yourself a journalist.

moxie + leah + emmanuelle

if you believe everything that you read

then you will believe that scientists just discovered that there were rodents the size of buffaloes roaming the earth at one point.

two young girls called me up the other day. fans.

by young i mean anyone under 109.

they had a lot of questions for me.

everyone always wants to know how old i really am.

i tell them the same lie i tell everyone, im 109 and in october i’ll be 110.

what does age matter, i asked them.

they giggled. girls like to giggle, ive noticed. girls of all ages. its sweet.

one of them said, the cops care. then giggled. which made the other full on laugh.

they asked if i had a girlfriend.

i said no.

they asked me why i didnt have one.

and i said cuz nobody likes me.

they said, we like you.

i said, nobody likes me more than a friend.

they both giggled.

then they asked me how old i was again.

i told them i was 18.

they said, no youre not.

then i got to ask them some things. first thing i asked them was how old they were.

they said they were 18.

i told them that lying on the phone is a federal offense.

they laughed and laughed and hung up.

someone called a few minutes later but the cubs were on. and i didnt pick up.

no words + so lonesome i could blog

I never meant 2 cause u any sorrow

I never meant 2 cause u any pain.

man i feel terrific today.

i was late for work but i dont care.

super hot chick got so dirty with me last night. id tell you more but it would make you blush.

so lets talk about taking matthew perrys picture last night.

first of all, i need a new camera.

secondly, matthew looked skinnier than i expected, but not unhealthily so.

i was there to support beyonce who asked me specifically to come to her premiere of her movie with cuba but she knows that i dont like cuba cuz i think he gives african americans a bad name because he always acts like a damn clown.

she says im too sensitive about that, and i tell her i cant help it.

so i went to the red carpet in the fans section and i waved at her and she looked spectacular in a sparkely dress that i would have liked to have captured with my canon s-40 but it likes to think before it clicks.

i need a camera that will click when i tell it to click.

i dont care what the picture looks like, just click, i will adjust it next time.

what happens is, by the time it figures out everything, the moment is gone or someone has moved in front of me or the security guards are yelling, or the lighting has changed.

i guess a man has to spend more than $500 on a good camera to get a good camera. if thats the case, then thats the case.

still i had a good time, and i walked to the subway and there was matthew perry with his girlfriend and i looped around and got my camera adjusted, or so i thought, and i said quietly so that the screaming fans who had their back turned to the Friends star couldnt hear, “matthew.”

he didnt seem to hear, so i got closer.


at these times i wonder if im saying the wrong name, i was thinking, maybe it’s matt leblanc, but hey, thats matthew too, and he turned around and gave me a look like, here i am, what?

and i clicked and the flash didnt go off and its crappy but there it is.

better luck next time.

then i got molested by a hot babe and fell asleep in a heap.

snl dude + sk smith has a crush (dont tell dan) + ken layne and all my friends are making a cd!

another exclusive interview with the president of the united states


mr. president.

im not sure i liked the way our last interview went. i was hoping you would do another interview with me.

anything for the president of the united states.

thank you. we may begin. ask me a question.

ok, how come gasoline prices are still close to $2 a gallon.

there was that blackout in the east coast.

isnt the blackout over?

there was also that war in iraq.

isnt the war over?

well, tony, the president doesnt really control oil prices.

so it’s a coincidence that you are from a family that became wealthy from oil, and as soon as you became president and during your time as president american oil prices have skyrocketed.

yes, it’s a coincidence.

is it also a coincidence that vice president cheney’s former company Halliburton the energy services giant, has been the big winner in our war against Iraq, by nabbing no-bid post-war contracts from the US Army?

that too is a coincidence.

so youre saying that it just so happened that the oil president and the energy vice president wound up in a situation where oil prices went sky high and energy issues crippled the north east and nearly bankrupted california.

well, i wouldnt put it that way, but i wouldnt blame us.

who would you blame then?

these things happen.

was there a peanut shortage when president carter was in office?

im sure that if there was, it wasn’t the president’s fault.

was saddam a major force behind 9/11?

tony, im glad you ask me that. i think the jury is still out.

vice president cheney on meet the press said yes, that saddam was a major force.

the vice president and i differ in that opinion.

what else do you and the vice president disagree on?

oh, lots of things. he’s a top, im a bottom, for example.

pardon me, sir?

sometimes when we go to camp david and want to pretend like we’re kids we like to sleep in bunk beds, i like the bottom.

if saddam wasnt a major player behind 9/11, why did we wage war on Iraq?

we believed that they had weapons of mass destruction, and that they harbored terrorists.

did you find any weapons yet?

no, no we havent.

when you look back at the war on iraq, do you consider it a mistake, a failure, or a success?

well, tony, saddam is no longer in power. his sons are dead an unable to torture the good people of iraq, and one of the hotbeds of terrorism has been crushed. so i would consider it a huge success.

is the $85 billion pricetag more than you expected?

freedom is priceless, my friend. and this is a low price that the american people will be happy to pay.

are you sure about that?

the people were in support of the war and theyre still in support of me, so what does that tell you?

your approval rating since 9/11/01 has dropped 40 points, what makes you believe that the us taxpayers are in support of you?

the smart ones support me. and thats all that i care about. and lucky for me only the smart ones vote.

do you feel better about this interview, mr. president.

much, thank you for letting me have this portion of the busblog this morning.


sepi got me a birthday gift! from my amazon wishlist! thanks sooooooooooo much sepi!