why on earth would this sweet little twelve year

old princess be crying on her wedding day?

could she be bawling over the raiders and how sloppilly theyve played this year and especially today.

is she nervous about the mighty bravos and the sheff and javy and chipper and the professor.

do you think that shes depressed that she only has five percent of the likely voters pledged to her in the california governors race?

its a plus or minus three percent, i tell her, but she just keeps crying and fingering her garter belt.

teenage princess bride to bes are nothing if not fussy.

rock that outkast she whispers and i find the remote and play her song.

its happy.


full of words that bounce right past us, could be calling for the revolution for all anyone knows but the melody is about beach parties and summer camp.

her dad doesnt care that she doesnt really know the boy five years her elder who do we really know he thinks and its true, who do we really know.

they tell her to go over there so she goes over there. they tell her to smile and she smiles and then she sees that the place is packed and she says fuck this in romanian and runs out like any sane twelve year old princess bride would.

white trail of freedom dancing right behind her.

still has some baby teeth.

not even

a teen.

but old enough to know

what forever means.

makeout city + alecia + circa 77

if i could be anywhere in the world right now it would be

with you.

but since thats impossible, i guess i would be in the bleachers of wrigley field, and then in atlanta on tuesday and wednesday for the first two games of the playoffs.

good seats are still available.

do you think theres a newspaper or magazine or website crazy enough to let me travel around the world and write for them about it? i dont. might be a little too punk rock for most sensibilities.

plus, why should anyone buy the cow if the milk is free.

im giving this shit away in the gallon sized. photo essays, two or three posts a day. why would details want a reason for their readers to return to their site two three times a day.

im sure they have enough ad click thrus on their site.

why would the la times want to stop their steady decline through suckiness? everything theyve done on their website theyve done wrong, so why would they want to make a u-turn and get a blog?

why would anyone want a blog?

why would any big time company or magazine or newspaper want the headache that the sacramento bee is having right now by getting all those hits, and visitors and page views and ad clicks throughs.

for christmas im going to throw the bee a pity party and give their editorial board tshirts that say tired of sex.

crazy how people can make success a bad thing.

ow, youre getting champagne in my eye!

right now i would be driving half way from chicago to atlanta. i would be at a pro football game then i would take the instapundit to dinner in knoxville.

then i would be in georgia on monday and there would be a blogger party and i bet i wouldnt be the only cub fan in attendence.

if i could be anywhere or do anything thats what i would do.

and i bet the pictures would come out good too.

real life preacher + bored housewife + blam blog