1. Friday, September 12, 2003

    exclusive interview 

    with the president of the united states of america.

    hi mr. president.

    hi tony, thanks for granting me this interview.

    but of course. what made you decide on doing this now, and with me?

    well, my approval rating has dropped 40 points since two years ago and only the elderly watch larry king, so i figured i better start working on getting re-elected with the young people as soon as asap.

    mr. president, is it true that you knew about 9/11?

    i still dont know about 9/11, tony.

    what about all the briefings that you got up to a month before 9/11 that told you that bin laden was plotting several “spectacular” attacks on america using explosives.

    parder, we get so many briefings, its retarded.

    should the american people distrust the bush administration when people like the national security advisor, condi rice, say months after the tragedies that there was no way to have known that “these people would take an airplane and slam it into the World Trade Center, take another one and slam it into the Pentagon” when more than a few of your “retarded” briefings said that he would do just that.

    people can trust whoever they want to. if you’re calling ms. rice a liar, you better not say it again, thats all i have to say. we have nothing to hide because we’re not liars.

    then why are you withholding the CIA executive briefing from August 16, 2001? Congress would like to read it because they believe that in that brief you were told about what was going to happen on 9/11.

    let me tell you a little something about being President of the United States. When you are president, you have the power to exercise whats called Executive Priviledge, thats what i did with that briefing and others.

    dont the american people deserve to know what the CIA told you about Osama Bin Laden three weeks before 9/11?

    it’s in the best interest of national security that that information is not released to the people. americans, canadians, or those who are our enemies.

    could you summarize what you are withholding in that document?

    i could, but i wont. not to you. its secret.

    in that document did the CIA tell you that osama might use commercial planes to destroy populated buildings?

    dont you know what secret means?

    which is more important to the country, mr. president, your political future or the safety of the american people.

    that’s a stupid question.

    why did you have john ritter killed?


    thank you for your time, sir.

    uh, thank you, for yours.

    bunnie + howard owens + simon world