1. Saturday, September 27, 2003

    face it, you’re falling in love with jessica simpson 

    we all are. she might be sometimes, but mtvs not dumb, they knew they had a gold mine in their hands.

    already made cash cows out of the mousekateers, now mtv has a mmc reject who might not dress as dirrty but sure can sing like a womoan.

    you think jessica would make a good blogger? i do.

    if she wanted i would be her ghost writer. but only if she never mentioned her husband. who doesnt love her. who really seems gay for most of his day until he goes to strip clubs.

    he just married his peice of ass wife and she complains, ive probably only seen you 5 days this whole month, and his response is, well whose fault is that?


    she married a gay man.

    it happens.

    liza did it. nicole did it. and anna just did it.

    why not? gay guys make great husbands. just look how pretty her house is.

    i got no problem with gay guys, i just wish theyd leave some of the hot ones for the rest of us.

    i always thought they could dance better though.

    i can dance as good as that dude.


    the cubs play a double header today and my directv was scaring me cuz its saying that neither of the games will be televised to my beach home.

    good thing i rented a car just incase this very situation came up.

    where is my pirated dss card when i need it, i asked myself.

    heres a question that jessica and i would discuss after we made love for the fourth time that morning.

    baby, is it stealing if it’s not even for sale?

    im sorry tony, what are you saying?

    well sweetheart, you know i would pay anything Anything to see this cubs doubleheader right now, right? cubs only have three games to play, theyre a half game in front of the astros, and if they win both of these games today then they are guaranteed to at least be tied for first place in the nl central.

    yes, i know youd pay anything to see that on our tv as we make more love, yes…?

    well directv isnt showing it on the baseball package that i paid $175 for. it’s not on the channel owned by the newpaper that owns the cubs, wgn. it’s not on the total sports network, espn. and its not on the west coast fox channel because theyre showing the braves game. so my question is: is it stealing if i used the pirated dss card to decode the local fox channel if i cant buy it on my directv?

    is it for sale?


    is it priceless?

    hmmm. sorta, but people in chicago get to pay for it.

    then no, it’s not stealing, cuz theyre being mean about who gets to see it.

    i love you baby.

    i love you tony.

    and then we’d order pizza and get cleaned up to go to a sports bar for game two of the twin bill since the braves game got preempted cuz someone at fox removed their heads from their asses and are showing not just the cubs, but the second place astros on the split screen

    if only one of the television broadcast geniuses figured out how to show game two of the doubleheader i wouldnt have to get out of my pajamas today.

    and my girlfriend jessica simpson could have her way with me for a few more hours.

    but life isnt fair.

    and the only true geniuses are the ones over at mtv.

    and whoever invented the gillette mach three.

    damn thats a close shave.

    geoff sucks + the II stacks + bunnie