1. Thursday, September 18, 2003

    if you believe everything that you read 

    then you will believe that scientists just discovered that there were rodents the size of buffaloes roaming the earth at one point.

    two young girls called me up the other day. fans.

    by young i mean anyone under 109.

    they had a lot of questions for me.

    everyone always wants to know how old i really am.

    i tell them the same lie i tell everyone, im 109 and in october i’ll be 110.

    what does age matter, i asked them.

    they giggled. girls like to giggle, ive noticed. girls of all ages. its sweet.

    one of them said, the cops care. then giggled. which made the other full on laugh.

    they asked if i had a girlfriend.

    i said no.

    they asked me why i didnt have one.

    and i said cuz nobody likes me.

    they said, we like you.

    i said, nobody likes me more than a friend.

    they both giggled.

    then they asked me how old i was again.

    i told them i was 18.

    they said, no youre not.

    then i got to ask them some things. first thing i asked them was how old they were.

    they said they were 18.

    i told them that lying on the phone is a federal offense.

    they laughed and laughed and hung up.

    someone called a few minutes later but the cubs were on. and i didnt pick up.

    no words + so lonesome i could blog