1. Tuesday, September 2, 2003

    people dont understand how to party 

    and people dont understand how to program television.

    my favorite station E! has a great franchise going with their Wild On series, but this year they need to let the celebs show them how its done.

    every week there should be a new celeb taking the cameras to their favorite party places. first up needs to be the Worm, my bro Dennis Rodman in vegas. he can give us tips on drinking, playing black jack, and rebounding. he should also give us a tour of the wedding chapels that are best for getting drunk in. and how to get a midget to be your best man. carmen electra can guest host a segment.

    next week should be the Hilton Sisters on the sunset strip. i bet you there are more than a few secret rooms in the clubs in hollywood that only nikki and paris know how to get into. carmen electra should guest host one of the segments too.

    then we go to minneapolis where i would like to see how prince gets down. i know he doesnt do much press, but come on buddy, no one is buying your records any more. seriously when was the last time you got a prince record? back when doves cried? and he doesnt even have to speak, he can just get one of his ladies to show us around. but he need to be there. i want wild on the twin cities. carmen electra can guest host.

    then we need to go to isla vista. duh. i need to host that shhhhh whoops almost cursed there. i need to host the party. i want to see 50 kegs lined down del playa, bands, burning couches, fleeing dogs, cops on horses, and a whole hell of a lot of alcohol awareness, people. i would also like to see some wheat thins. the hilton sisters can guest host. maybe we can get ugly kid joe to reunite and party next to the leather guild.

    speaking of reuniting. i want the Coreys to get back together somewhere in tijuana. lots of people party in baja and most of the times they do it in a dirty dirty shameful way. we need to change that. Wild On of all tv shows can bring the ass, i mean class back to tijuana, once known as the jewel in the mexican rivera. since carmen electra knows spanish i guess she can guest host.

    snoop dogg is a Wild On: Tha Ghetto no brainer. must i seriously have to think of everything? paris hilton can guest star.

    remember last year when that Aligator guy from austrialia was all the rage? he even had a knock off dude? well those two guys probably know how to party pretty well and i want to see how they let loose for the Wild On: Down Under.

    willie nelson knows how to get down and none of that has been documented. why? maybe nobody has asked the redheaded stranger. Wild On: Hillbilly Style. and yes that means moonshine and deep frying turkeys, so represent!

    but the biggest partiers in rock are the Roadies. every movie ive ever seen theres a roadie getting some or drinking or eating the left overs. Wild On: Backstage will be a classic. especially when the discussion turns away from tattoos and back to the groupies.

    Wild On: Under 5′ 5″ will be a classic. lil kim, frankie munoz, fred durst, christina aguilera, mini me, david spade, the olsen twins, spud webb, seth green, gov. gary coleman, angus young: all how they roll.

    tell me you wouldnt watch it.

    alecia is the #2 “alecia” on google + daily pundit + ouahad