1. Tuesday, September 16, 2003

    splinkgirl doesnt think im cool. 

    and she couldnt be more right. i disagree with some of the things she says and does but not everything. not that.

    she says she shy but shes not shy of me. she just ignores me and thats fine. its sorta nice. sometimes.

    i want to interview her for you. for all of you. for all of us. for me. but she wont.

    it’s fashion week and i still have a little bit of arts editor in me. i always want to keep you in the know on the current events. busblog was there for you for miss universe, for the mtv awards, for the oscars, for the sunset junction street fair, for tsars march on rockington but still im not cool.

    to prove it i took lots of pictures of my bald spot last night as monday night football droned from the big screen.

    shit i forgot what i was gonna say.

    shit.

    problem with saving the world is your phone rings. a lot. and it distracts you.

    my first girlfriend ever and i talked last night on the phone. she wants me. oh yeah. she pretends she doesnt. she says she wants to be a nun. she says a lot of things, but she lies. she wants me.

    she doesnt mind that im not cool, cuz to her im cooler than ive ever been since she knew me at fifteen. she actually missed my peak, but dont tell her that.

    even though shes sure to know.

    how couldnt she know.

    splinky knows and she doesnt even know me.

    you know what i want to do today? i dont want to kill anyone today, thats what i want to do. i want to catch the bad guys and teach them a lesson. i want to look into their eyes at their soul and tell them that their mammas didnt sit in labor for 18 hours for them to grow up and be punkass bitches sold on the belief that they can just run around being assholes and somehow it was societys fault.

    good thing about chopper one is i can show some of these fellas what mankind can do.

    they especially like the part where i push the button and the blades are silenced and even the shadows of the vehicle disappear below.

    they dont like it when it drops straight down.

    they dont like it when they piss their pants

    they dont like it when they barf themselves.

    they dont like it when i tell them to swear they’ll never fuck with the planet again as we drop like a rock

    closer to pico blvd.

    and closer.

    and when they promise they dont like it when i say pinkie swear

    and they see the street shooting closer and closer and they say fine pinkie swear pinkie swear with their hands shaking like crazy omg they cant even get the barf covered pinkies to touch theyre shaking so much

    and then they pass out.

    just in time for me to pull up and fly back to the hangar with a born agained rehabilitated former bad guy who cant do anything bad ever again because his pinkie sold him down the river.

    sad thing is i’ll probably still have to kill somebody.

    and thats why the valley girl wont chat with my black ass and i cant say i blamer.

    tina + bunnie + blog of the century of the week