to deliver the good news and layeth the smackdown and they cranked their shit to eleven and pretty much busted the eardrums of anyone within the first fifty rows and i just stood there like heston infront of the burning bush turning grey overnight and i have seen the light and its letters flash t s a r, for the big bad wolf is knocking at your door modern rock alternative radio and he has dyed his hair shit brown and hes coming for whats his and you better give it up or he’ll spin that fckr to twelve.
opening up for the epoxies and the starlight vocal band, tsar did rock and roll a favor last night by being the last minute replacements and sacrificing their good names by accepting the 9:30p chump openers role. didnt matter, they still blew the lights out. they still kicked ass and took names. they still passed the dutchee on the left hand side, wild eyed and crazy like maidens eddie, they still gave us our what for, they still didnt ask for an encore and were pleaded to give one but refused cuz theyre punk rock and powerful and tight like a youknowwhat and meaty like a hamhat.
defying all possible sensibilities and laws of gravity, tsar blasted through their newest material so as to beat it into our collective unconsiousness, hardly taking a break to chew ones curd, the brunette lead singer songwriter flopped around the stage cocksure and righteous pissed at the world for what it hadnt done for it and poised to take what is owed to them so lock up the lockers and lay down the liars cuz justice isnt blind, its bitter and it has a message from another time and it wont be brought to you by budweiser.
despite talking hella shit about weezer back in the day, tsar apparently got hollywood records (disney) to break open the marketing department vault and spend a little money (little being the key word) on some weezer-esque lights (pictured) which may or may not have blown out the stage lights of the sparse spaceland stage and which may or may not have been made on the floor of the tsar practice room with construction paper, spraypaint, and ninety nine cent store lightbulbs.
long live the mouse.
and my ears are still ringing and its almost lunch time. and my hearts still exploding and its months till the cd drops. and if you dont see these masters of the the midway within these next six weeks in hollywood as they get their shit together before going on their world tour then you really dont love rock music. its time to stare into the sun, friends. and this is the music you’ll melt to.