three outs to go
i’m officially losing my mind
he calls it medication and runs and hides to rehab only After the national enquirer outs his fat flabby two faced druggie ass.
“I need to tell you today that part of what you have heard and read in the past week is correct. I am addicted to prescription pain medication.
“I first started taking prescription pain killers five, six years ago when my doctor prescribed them to treat post-surgical pain following spinal surgery. Unfortunately, the surgery was unsuccessful and I continued to have severe pain in my lower back and also in my neck now due to two herniated discs — pain which I’m still experiencing because of that. Rather than opt for additional surgery for these conditions, I chose to treat the pain with prescribed medication, and this medication turned out to be highly addictive.
“Over the past several years I’ve tried to break my dependence on pain pills and in fact I’ve twice checked myself into medical facilities in an attempt to do so. But I recently agreed with my doctor about the next steps. So. Immediately following this broadcast, I will check myself into a treatment center for the next 30 days to once and for all break the hold that this highly-addictive medication has on me.
“The show will continue during this time, of course. There will be an array of guest hosts that you’ve come to know and respect sitting here. I’m not making any excuses and I don’t intend to……….[[re other famous people who have undergone treatment]] I want you to know that I’m no role model and I refuse to let anybody think that I’m doing something heroic here or doing something great here when there are people that you have never heard of…[who] just face it.
“They are the role models if anybody in this is a role model. I’m not a victim and I’m not going to portray myself as a victim…I take full responsibility for this problem.
“At the present time, the authorities are conducting an investigation. I have been asked to limit my public comments until this investigation is complete.
“So I’m only going to say that the stories you’ve read — the stories you’ve heard — contain inaccuracies and distortions, and I’m going to clear those up when I am finally free to speak about them………..I deeply appreciate the overwhelming support that you have extended to me.
“It literally has sustained me, but it doesn’t fool me. It is what it is.
“I take it for what it is, and I appreciate it more than I will ever be able to express to you.
“But now I want to ask for your prayers, because when this is all over with I look forward — actually it’s never going to be all over with, that’s something I know.
“But, nevertheless, I look forward to resuming our excursions into broadcast excellence together, again, as soon as possible.”
– Rush Limbaugh 10/10
or i could write about writing. i think i know which youd prefer to hear about, so lets rock.
i look at blogging the same way i do about tv. it should be free to the normal person. the companies should pay the writer. i dont think thats a difficult concept and i dont care if its never happened before in blogging. lots of things never happened before in blogging and if theres one blog that does its best to bring new concepts to this incredibly new medium, its me.
photo essays the way i do them are new to the web and even though ive been doing them over Two years now, nobody else does them regularly because theyre not easy to do. plus you need to have a hosted web site, and people who have hosted web sites dont seem interested in photo essays, oh well. maybe theyre afraid that people will think theyre stealing from me.
steal away, people. in fact i dare you. make a better photo essay than me. to be quite honest as a voracious reader of blogs, i would love to see more photo essays out there and i always get a kick out of people giving me the proper props when they do borrow from me in one way or another.
and text ads, as google has shown, can be just as effective, especially when they come across as subtle.
god i could use a diet dr. pepper right now.
nascar is a good example of how fans loyal to a particular driver will frequent the drivers’s sponsor more often because the fan + driver + sponsor relationship is such a close-knit one.
if the busblog was sponsored by cadillac, for instance, not only would i talk about how i drove my caddy to this place or that place, but odds are Awareness of caddys would increase among my readers as being something that truly isnt just for granddads and gangsta rappers.
i could go on and on about how corporations could and should take advantage of blogger and the medium, but i dont want to give away all my secrets.
plus i just got a diet dr. pepper and its treating me so good.
tastes just like regular doctor pepper.
and only has one calorie.
wait, NO calories.
you know friends, ive lost near 10 pounds this year from changing over to diet sodas, i mean diet dr pepper.
and i dont exercise. at all.
ok, i gotta go back out there and save some lives.
cubs will sweep the marlins this weekend and clinch it on sunday.
shonen knife is playing tonight. the cubs are playing tonight. life is alive tonight.
its friday night in rocktober. this is the time when dreams come true. this is the time when we get to see what we can do. tonight also seems to be a night of choices.
what will i do if the cubs are playing when tsar is ready to rock the knitting factory in hollywood, just feet away from the simpsons’s star on the hollywood walk of fame? i will watch the cubs play, thats what i will do.
the cubs are the rockstars of my youth. tsar is simply my favorite band of all.
all the playoff games that the cubs have won, except one, they have done so while the lead singer of my favorite band sat on my couch and watched the game with me.
tonight, unfortunately, he has made the choice to follow through on his commitment to rock and attend his own concert instead of helping dustiny take place in south florida.
we all have to make tough choices, i suppose, and i wonder what i would do if i had a great band who were playing at the same time as the cubs played in the playoffs.
i guess i would have to have a tv on stage with me.
once i saw sonic youth in ’91 and they had a tv on stage with them that i swore they were going to destroy but instead of that they simply turned it on right at the end of their set and let ted koppels “nightline” echo into the mic sending out feedback that blended perfectly with the barbed wire kisses from their creaming amps.
once i saw elvis costello in ’86 and he had a tv on stage allegedly showing lou reed via satelitte. elvis had a go go cage on one side featuring his wife at the time, the long legged cait o’riordan. on the other side he had a little bar with three stools and a tv. during the show he would bring members of the audience on stage and allow them to spin a wheel that had song titles on it. when the wheel stopped, the band played the song and the audience member was allowed to either dance with cait, or sit at the bar and watch lou reed on television.
tonight i am going to watch my beloved chicago cubs on television.
it’s october tenth and did you hear what i just said, im going to watch my beloved chicago cubs on television.
my apologies to my favorite band, who i love almost as much.
if only the knitting factory had a $5 webcast of the tsar show, but i guess that would be too much to ask in 2003.
of Course he doesnt want me to be happy during the month of love. of Course he wants me to be distracted while the greatest storybook ending of a baseball season comes to its utterly delicious climax.
of Course he wants me to focus on the things that i dont have instead of the overflowing riches that i do have and have had for a damn long time.
sometimes the angels in my life have to take a few days off and cant whisper in my ear that im the luckiest man alive, and that im not as bad as the demons say i am, and that i can do some things good, and there is a future for a nutcase like me, and that life is beautiful, and that the cubs are going to win the world series and its going to happen this year the year of the miracle.
time magazine probably wont do it and newsweek wont either, but instead of making arnold the man of the year it ought to be a brotha named dusty cuz dusty took a far less talented cubs team and this weekend will get them into the world series, something that hasnt happened since dubya dubya two. and he did it with dudes like alex gonzales and randall simon. and did it without corey patterson or a $140 million payroll.
i noticed that fox showed the guy in new york singing God Bless America during the seventh inning stretch last night, a tradition that has gone on in yankee stadium since right after 9/11, and its emotional and touching, but 9/11 happened over two years ago, buddies, either its time to move on or its time to Also show the guest celeb singer who leads the wrigley faithful in take me out to the ball game during the seventh inning at the friendly confines.
cuz thats also entertainment, and more importantly, a much much longer baseball and cub tradition.
went to bed early last night but not before wishing my true love a happy weekend as she jets off to vegas to spend a girls-only weekend with her sister and it was then that i remembered how many angels are among us.
this morning i saw two little kids who were probably in first grade. both of them were being accompanied by their dads. both of them had huge cardboard signs hanging on their little frames strung with yarn. on the outside of the signs were their homework assignments, and inside the signs were papers with shapes like “rectangle” and “square.”
next to me sat a little junior high school korean girl who had homemade flashcards written on paper that she had cut out herself. not 3×5 cards. cut paper.
as president i promise you that instead of spending a hundred billion dollars in a war over oil, school children who quiz themselves on a city bus on their way to class will be provided with as many 3×5 cards as their little hearts desire.
kerry wood will shut out the fish tonight in miami.