1. Wednesday, October 15, 2003

    i dont know why im debating this so much. 

    i dont want to go to work. for a variety of reasons. plus the damn busses and subways are on strike. plus the most important game the cubs have had in at least 20 years, if not over 50 years is going to be on tv today and im not guaranteed that i will make it back home in time to see it.

    and what if the mailman bumps my satellite dish? and what if my tivo fucks up. and what if the electricity goes out in the middle of the day and deprograms everything.

    i have personal days at the xbi that they give us. if this isnt personal, i dont know what is.

    problem is i will get hell for it when i go back to work on thursday. and i will have to hear it from a number of people and why cant i get someone to invent a home tshirt making machine because if there was one i would make a shirt that said

    seventh game of the national league playoffs, bitches.

    and on the back it would say

    one game away from the world series.

    i know im not the best writer, america. but i am a great fan. im a fan of so many things and most of them take place during a baseball game.

    strategy like crazy, drama, psychology, good vs evil, youth vs experience, intimidation, the poetry of emotional communication, history, power, precision, guts, fear, teamwork, preparation, finesse, and the relationship between fans and their heroes.

    the relationship between a manager and his piss poor bullpen and his ace who has probably thrown too many pitches.

    how on earth can i be fucking around at the job, a place that i showed up early so i could leave early, but am instead stuck doing overtime cuz of some selfish asshole who wants to play chicken with me with the fucking print button, when mark prior climbs the dark mound of wrigley on a chilly autumn night needing the support of everyone but especially me, the worlds dumbest cubfan.

    if i wasnt a Christian minister i would call in sick today, but im not sick. im no liar. i have been given personal days, this is a personal day.

    the cubs. the team of my life. the staple of my tshirt collection. the reason i have directv and tivo. will be playing game seven in the playoffs, winner goes to the world series, in wrigley field, the place my ashes will be sprinkled.

    unlike the fiction of this blog, my job doesnt involve saving lives, really.

    i can take a damn day off.

    in america.

    during a transit and grocery strike.

    if the son of a nazi can run and win the office of governor of california, tony can take a day off to see his cubs get into the damn world series.

    despite his unquenchable work ethic.

    and if youre ever curious if youre losing your mind, think about if youre speaking about yourself in the third person.

    jason + jesus rob + wandering steve + basart + sarah all pitched in for the bleacher seats bringing the tally to $252.

    thank you so much you very kind people.