1. Wednesday, October 15, 2003

    life isnt fair. 

    ive typed those words a million times in this blog and a lot of you just saw it on tv.

    i just saw it on tv.

    if life was fair i wouldnt have so many friends. i wouldnt be so damn good looking. i wouldnt have all these cars and homes and bling.

    i wouldnt have all of you reading exactly what i would be writing in my diary if i still kept one.

    if life was fair lots of you wouldnta sent me money so that if the cubs made it past tonight i would be sitting in a bleacher seat next to one of the coolest girls in america.

    thank you, by the way, to everyone who sent me money. it should have all been returned to you. if anyone didnt get a refund, please let me know.

    if life was fair i would be living an average life. with average ups and downs. with average expectations and average failures.

    but life isnt fair and i end up getting way more than i deserve which is why i try to share as much of it as i can with you.

    still that doesnt mean that i wasnt close to tears when the cubs game ended tonight.

    but fortunately i was distracted by a phone call from the xbi telling me that in the morning i was probably going to get written up and definitely some of my responsibilities would be stripped from me.

    if life was fair i would be making more money there, but things even out, its cool.

    for months ive been asking not to have to patrol west of the 405, that making me cover the wesssside spreads me too thin and i will miss shit that happens in hollywood, downtown, and south central.

    well today on my day off something gnarly happened in west la, something i should have predicted, but because my plate was full and has been full for six months sometimes mistakes happen.

    whats interesting is tommorow i will be stripped of what i was asked to be taken away from me a half year ago.

    i will be yelled at about something that ive been yelling about.


    theres always the next hearbreak.

    coyote has been taking some amazing pictures + trevor + jaime