1. Monday, October 27, 2003

    xbi sent me home today. 

    they could tell i wasnt into it. but i told them fuck it. i would stay and work.

    as much as i hate this job, i fight crime so much better when im depressed. bad guys like dogs can smell fear and not like im normally scared, but sometimes i do try to play things a little safer than normally.

    not today.

    knocked on this bad guys house today. right on the front door. he wasnt home. i knew he wasnt home. his girlfriend was home. knew that too. she had jean shorts on and was holding a diet coke. she saw me and knew and was startled. i told her to chill out. she invited me in. i looked around and sat down on his leather couch.

    i told her that she was in great danger and her man was about to go down.

    she said, be the first time in a long time.

    was it a double entendre?

    she smiled so i laughed, then she laughed.

    then the dog barked and she yelled at him and he whimpered.

    i told her no seriously, the xbi is like that fire we’re coming and we’re not going to stop until God himself stops us.

    it came out right. she got it.

    she lit a camel light. great tattoos all down her leg, gorgeously sculptured calf. sparkles on her blue toenail polish. couple of toe rings.

    is it true what they say about women with toe rings i asked her.

    she exhaled looked at the ashtray and then looked back at me.

    it was true.

    i wanted to ask her why she wasnt afraid to die but hardly anyone that i have to deal with on either side of the thin black line is afraid of anything except God and the girlfriend of the baddest mofo next to my bosses boss sure didnt show any fear even if she had a whisper of it.

    she fiddled around on her white mac laptop and showed me the picture above and asked me where we were on that map and i said we’re in hollywood which is inbetween the top fire and the middle fire but closer to the top one.

    she took a mental note of it and said why are you here.

    i said im here to send a message.

    she said whats the message.

    i said the message is read the bible and quit being a fuck up.

    she asked is that a message for me or for my man.

    i said we teach what we most need to learn and i got out of there before a hundred motherfuckers appeared and turned me into a memory.