Dear Tony,

My name is Anna Kournikova. I am writing you from Thailand.

Sabai dee reu?

Tony, I read your web-log a LOT.

I see you writing about me. I think it’s cute. Thank you for all the compliments that you say about me.

I am in Pattaya today. It’s really beautiful here. It’s warm, the people are so very friendly. The food is delicious, and it’s quite inexpensive.

You seem to like pretty girls. There are many pretty girls here in this beautiful country.

Sometimes I discover something that you’ve written and I think wow, this guy is great.

I only have a few minutes here in this Internet Caffe, so let me say this to you Tony Pierce, kop koon for being my fan, I am your fan too.

My husband also reads your print-outs and he laughs at you. I see you writing him insults, but we know you only say that for sport.

You’re very clever.

OK, would you like to hear my favorite Thai phrase? I’m slow at learning them. Ready?

Krai kai kai kai?

You’ll never guess what that means.

It means, “who sells the chicken eggs?” That’s what they tell me. They might be pulling my leg.

Laew phob gan mai, Tony,



anna in china + linked this one last year + anna at thanksgiving

regis makes me happy.

kelly makes me happy. bono makes me happy. karisas truck makes me happy. miss montreal who not only made beautiful lust to me yesterday and today and folded all my clothes as her pool threw the most amazing lights all over her barely clothed canadian curves.

and its friday. and the mta is going to vote today to hopefully end the strike. and the cubs havent lost in weeks.

and yet im in the most foul of moods.

how can that be?

let me tell you a little about what happened last night.

got home and wrote. then watched the lakers win in double OT. then this incredibly dirty girl called me and told me that she wanted me and i told her i wanted her too. then i drove over to the yuppie part of town where miss montreal lives and she greeted me at the door with a look that made me forget all my troubles.

marvin gaye playing on the jukebox.

candles burning, incense wafting, hot fudge slowly making its way down the banana splits.

how can the luckiest man alive be so unsatisfied with pretty much everything?

its been nice driving karisas truck, but that got old pretty fast.

its been nice not having my boss at work all week, but still the job blows.

its been nice having the lakers win every game this season, but theyre supposed to win every game this season.

i dont want to do shit this weekend, and the good thing is i dont think i have to do shit this weekend.

all i have to do is watch my damn tivo.

did i tell you my buddy eric cold busted with hooking me up with hacking my tivo? i bought two 120 gig hard drives and he installed them and did his thing on them and now i have a two-tuner directv 230 hour tivo.

it’s lovely.

it makes me so happy.

that added with the new computer i have makes my life pretty much complete.

if only i had my old gas station job back. the one where i pumped gas for the stars and got hit on by young rich girls driving the cars their daddys bought them. who tipped me with their phone numbers.

once i dated these girls who were sisters…

mindy + katie + mental spigot