VeryNiceLips: whos mouth is that?

dumbme: our girlfriend

VeryNiceLips: :-)

VeryNiceLips: do you think her lips are nicer than mine?

dumbme: i actually like questions like that

dumbme: some guys fall for them

VeryNiceLips: ha!

dumbme: as they are loaded questions

dumbme: trick questions some would say

VeryNiceLips: its not a trick question

dumbme: some guys would say, no baby, your lips have sucked my deal so well

dumbme: but theyre lying

VeryNiceLips: ewww!

dumbme: the lips didnt really do any sucking

dumbme: the inside of the mouth did the work

VeryNiceLips: but you kiss my lips??

dumbme: the lips were around for the ride

dumbme: ah ha

dumbme: but mostly we french

dumbme: so, again it is the tounge

VeryNiceLips: there is still plenty of lips involved

dumbme: not plenty

dumbme: some

dumbme: but not plenty

VeryNiceLips: hmmm

dumbme: the lips are advertising

dumbme: its the wrapper

VeryNiceLips: ha!

dumbme: its a fakeout

VeryNiceLips: well, we’ll see about that. I am taking this as a dare

dumbme: what sort of dare?

VeryNiceLips: i’ll prove to you that lips are more than just advertising

dumbme: how will you do that?

VeryNiceLips: i can’t tell you that, you might spread my secret to other girls via your little web site

dumbme: ah yes

dumbme: speaking of that, may i put this chat on my page?

VeryNiceLips: haha, sure

dumbme: i will name you, VeryNiceLips

dumbme: for yours truly are

dumbme: all kidding aside

VeryNiceLips: maybe tomorrow…or another day, you can post the results….thanks

tsar came down from the mountaintop last night

to grace los angeles with their presence and they began the evening with the unbelievably dramatic Smart Boys. and let me tell you a little something about the best band in america when they start the fucking show with Smart Boys

when tsar opens with Smart Boys youre in for a hellride of rock.

and it built and it peaked and it ended oops it was a false ending and it ended oops another false ending and then it ended

and that was just Smart Boys

and then tsar opened up a can of whoop ass and destroyed everyone justlikethat.

im destroyed in a nice way.

this one girl likes me, i can tell. shes very shy though so she doesnt send me nudes. i think thats fine. she does chat with me a lot and when she does she likes to talk dirty.

i think thats fine too.

the other day she said, oooh tony, why dont you come over here and let me give you a back rub and then why dont you tie me up and then why dont you just fuck the hell out of me as hard as you possibly can.

tsar’s version of the back rub was Smart Boys.

they were inspired last night, america. i dont know why. they played song after song that they usually do as encores. they did two covers in a row right in the middle of the show the 1910 Fruitgum Co.’s “Goody Goody Gumdrops” and the Pooh Sticks’s “Sex Head.”

i think they played the entire second side of led zeppelins houses of the holy, im not sure, i was floored by the energy and power and majesty of the rock being pummelled into my very being.

all i know is i saw stars i felt footsteps i drank out of peer pressure and then i was driven home by a pretty girl who told me it was going to be ok.

apparently i was crying tears of joy.

it was tremendous.

it was maniacal.

i was introduced to a famous music video director who also couldnt believe his eyes and asked me to pinch him because he could have been dreaming, so i pinched him and he said he needed to reevaluate his life because he suddenly believes in God.

and as my ears were ringing as i said my prayers as my electric blanket clicked on i remembered i hadnt had a chance to say goodnight to

katie + matt + steve

mariah wants a little attention.

that girl always wants attention. i dont know why she wants so much attention from me specifically but she does.

this morning she called and threatened to release our library of sex tapes. i begged her not to.

she said, what do you care, you did me like a porn star.

i said, im far too popular of a blogger to have a scandal like that hit the presses.

she said, but our tape could be out in time for christmas.

im not looking forward to christmas.

i have to work on christmas eve. and i cant go home. and i cant really buy a lot of presents for the poor kids in my neighborhood.

and i cant be with my true love.

and i cant be with my true lust.

so it will be hard to get in the christmas spirit, which my drug store and mall are trying to get me into right now.

and mariah said, see, so lets release our tapes, they could be a dvd box set.

i said, can i provide an audio track of commentary.

she asked, can we both?

i said, why dont i make some commentary on my track, and you sing on yours?

and she said, its a deal.

and then i went to my cupboard and whipped up some brownies,

wrote a chapter in my very slow-developing novel,

burned a cd for my man ben who has been driving me to work this week.

and i uploaded some pictures that i took.

and thats what i did after the tsar show last night.

xero79 + xeni + goobita