man was i busy today.

im not really sure if ive worked that hard since, hell, its been a while, maybe back at the dot com when i was hiring 30 to 50 people a week.

its friday night. its eleven pm. the hot girl from last night is doing a shoot at the roosevelt hotel in hollywood and after she says shes coming straight over to finish what was started last n’ and i dont really talk sex talk in here but what the hell.

last night she said that she was wantin it but was a little sore in the hey nanu nanu. so i was totally cool with just falling asleep holding her. but this is a reason i date girls, as i was falling asleep she took my hands and was basically all, dude.

one thing led to another and shes whispering for me to take off her bra.

just so happens thats one of my favorite little hobbies.

had to do this one left handed , eyes closed, while kissing and this girl has something to put in that bra, lemme tell you.

maybe we should have a sexy story every friday night.

and the thing with curvy girls and their brassierres is that can add a tad more stress to the bra strap snapdeal, making the inital pinch at the buckle a smidge more difficult, which can mean the difference between a holy-shit quickie release of the bra and a oh-man what a struggle tug tug tug slow clumsy manuever.

outkast was on the boom box.

eventually got that bra off and she snickered at me for she knew how proud i’d smile after a lightspeed removal of the unmentionable

and i shared her snicker and she rolled onto her belly

and i was all

and then i put on a condom just like i do everytime while promising promises of a confident man calling his shot

which i highly recommend

cuz its hot

and its nice to see if the chick doubledares you or promises something back or checks you out while you put that thing on

and last nights girl did all the above

which is why she got invited to be tonights girl

and now ive got the drive by truckers on

and now im thinking about all the craziness that went down today

im thinking about how could it have all happened squooshed like that into one little day.

i think three girls told me they loved me, and one guy said he wanted to have my baby.

as many hits as drudge gets, how many times you think a guy tells drudge something like that?

actually, nevermind.

had kung pao scallops for lunch, delivered.

thought about getting a used car

got to read

on the bus

in peace.

aj made two excellent things this week.

today’s guest blogger

from country punk corvids fame

is no one other than mr. ken layne

It seems that the critics

all agreed:

‘This is bullshit’

But one typey-typer

grinned and snickered,

‘Or is it?’

He would type-type the most

type-typed ravey of rants

and Mike Myers would pull

down the type-typer’s pants!

‘A blowjob, a rimjob,

a dinky-donk-plo job,

you’ll get what you

truly deserve!’

And every movie page ad

in the Snap City Tribune

and the Goblin Heights Post

and the Bough Bubble News-Goon

and the St. Trickly Times

and the Goobertown Gazette

and even the Roggo Flats Daily Tourette!

Will all put the type-typey’s

rave up on the top

with his name big & proud

his words bold & loud!

and the name of his paper

right underneath that …

a paper so odd they called

it the Strib

like a lake-muckian critter

with the face of a squid

And the parents perhaps

not so smart-smart to know

so they say,

‘hey petunia, let’s go see a show!’

So they wrapped up the

little ones in wide winters wraps

and the diapers & dribble cups

went straight in the night sack

And off to the mulgi-plex

where they waited in the line

with the Beasleys & Weasleys &

Flat Footed Small Frys

And finally oh finally when

the door monkey yelped

they ran and they ran and the

fatter folks fell

and the small ones their faces

were so bright they lit

but five minutes later the

sad truth had hit

they were stuck at the movies

with a huge piece of shit!

ken layne + do youself a flavor and get the new corvids cd