1. Sunday, November 9, 2003

    dear democratic national committe 

    i would like to write a blog for you.

    it will be the best two million bucks youve ever spent.

    first thing id do is hire matt welch, ken layne, amy langfield, marc brown, os tyler, tim blair, ben sullivan, todd francis, jim lowney, and pat whalen to join me, and id give em each a one year contract for a hundred grand.

    then we would start taking names.

    a shit list, if you will.

    dont get your ass on the shit list.

    who’s on the list right now?

    well, just this week, cbs oughtta be on the tippy top of your shit list, since theyve obviously outted themselves to being nothing more than the Al-Jazeera for the right.

    and from what i can see, you dont give a fuck. whats up with that?

    wheres your fuck cbs bumper stickers? wheres your fuck cbs thongs? wheres your fuck cbs condoms?

    tap tap tap

    hello.

    is this thing on?

    seems to me, and im just some jerkoff not really paying much attention, but it seems to me that you let those motherfuckers steal the election, you let them get us into this fucked up war, you let them shove the economy right into their assholes and shit it all over your faces, you let them re-do the gubernatorial election in cali and let a potsmoking groping son of a nazi take over, and now youre letting them control the television too?

    are you people high?

    and the weirdest thing is, bush has a pretty good chance of getting hired for another four years, not because he deserves it, but because you guys cant get it together.

    exhibit a: those jokers in the picture up there.

    you guys are having a terrible time beating a cokehead who has fucked up in pretty much every way possible and

    as good as your haikus are, theyre not going to bring him down.

    the dream team that i hyperlinked above will bring him down, and they’ll be expecting plush dc jobs in a year, so get ready.

    and plan on tsar headlining the ball.

    in the meantime, hand over the money, be prepared to register a url, pick a candidate, and get out of the way.

    business as usual hasnt gotten you jack fucking shit.

    and no offense, but you should be ashamed.

    im ashamed for you.

    one more thing. drudge, quit sending me flowers and contract offers.

    i wouldnt make a blog for the right for ten million dollars.

    and i know youre a ho, but i aint. i wouldnt make a blog for the rnc for a hundred million dollars.

    believe that.

    today is sunday, the holy day.

    tony pierce would never make a blog for the republicans for $100 million dollars, not $200 million dollars, not even $300 million dollars. and thats a not a dare.

    you people have fucked this country over in so many ways, starting with watergate and continuing to this very day. and you make deliverance pig noises when you do it.

    youre completely full of shit. you dont care a fuck about the average american, and you really dont give a fuck about the presidency of the united states or else you wouldnt have pulled all the endless amount of gradeschool hes got cooties bullshit that you pulled for eight disgusting years. fuck you and your agendas and your dirty fucking money, i dont want it.

    i would do it for a billion though.

    cuz then i could buy the cubs and sign pudge and arod.

    so there you have it, i guess i am a ho, since i have a price.

    asswipes, im yours for a billion.

    dems, your price is two mil.

    ive never felt so dirty.

    say yes,

    tony