1. Monday, November 17, 2003

    forget your mom, what do you do when your work finds out about your blog? 

    you do what you should do all the time, saints,

    be polite.

    hi work.

    lots of ways you can find out if your work is on your web site.

    easiest way, of course, are IP addresses.

    they’ll tell you when, who, and for how long.

    i dont care if my work reads my blog, i just wish they would believe that nothing in here is true. but no one does.

    other than that i have no problem with my job, despite what lies i might write on here.

    half way through my little talking-to by some of my superiors this morning, i was about to tell them the truth, i was about to say, dude, if i didnt complain about something, people would think im living this fucking perfect life and they woudnt be able to relate to me, so i lie about having a crappy job that doesnt appreciate me.

    it’s storytelling.

    but then they started saying some odd things.

    so i didnt say anything.

    i kept pretending that i didnt like my job.

    which has been so good to me.

    you should see my desk, my huge window, my huge computer monitor, bagels on thursdays.

    they send all these pretty girls by just to be nice to me.

    even the dudes come by and say nice things.

    they got the IT department to cruise through from time to time and hook me up, and the facilities department keeps the place perfectly temperaturized

    even the janitors address me by name

    and you should see the guy who wears the vest outside the garage

    he always says good bye to me.

    i got friends in the media center, in research, in rights & clearances, legal, sales

    lord knows the eReps got my back.

    and i got theirs.

    what makes me so curious though is, when the cubs were in the playoffs i got a little distracted, and im not as smart as you might think, so i have to concentrate super hard.

    so when the cubs were in the playoffs, i made a few mistakes and got in trouble.

    cuz at the xbi you cant really make any mistakes.

    especially if your me.

    cuz you know why

    cuz nobody wants me at the xbi

    you dont either.

    any time i write anything about it, you all pretty much say, fuck the xbi.

    and sometimes i want to say it too, and today i felt like george bush and iraq

    i wanted to give up and go home, but it would have been for the wrong reason

    and id be driven out by the wrong people.

    over the last few years, any anxiety that i would ever have about romantic relationships have disappeared. they have all been wonderful, loving, perfect.

    sure there have been some ups and downs. but mostly ups and hardly ever anything devastating.

    but during that same amount of time i have struggled, friends, with my relationship with my employers and it troubles me worse than anything ive ever experienced with a woman.

    unlike my love affairs, at work i give everything.

    and i definitely work harder at the xbi and at my last job, than i do on this blog or my site.

    and both places, just when you thought someone was going to say, you know what man, nice work. and great job doing it under pressure. just when you thought that was coming, something very odd was said.

    like youre fired.

    they didnt say that today but they also didnt say hey nice work under pressure as the shit was going down as you learned new dance moves for foreign songs.

    the receptionists took me outside for an american spirit though.

    nice girls.

    but you know i dont smoke.

    and that nothing in here is true.

    i couldnt imagine a better job for me. im in the middle of everything. im busy constantly. im loved, and very well taken care of.

    i come in early, and i leave late. i tell jokes, and smile, and work hard at hard work.

    theyve done everything that they can do to get me out of chopper one and writing for the company newsletter, but i dont want to. no matter how dangerous fighting the crime that i fight is, and no matter how thankless it can be, it’s the job that ive been given, and im not going to leave it until i leave a total champ.

    before the xbi there was no busblog.

    and dont forget it.

    alecia made a new photo essay + ben’s daily + bastard family