1. Thursday, November 27, 2003

    hi blook II 

    hi tony, hows it hanging?

    pretty good, i got three parades and a football game on, its thanksgiving morning, and im watching martha stewarts living.

    oh really, since when do they let accused felons on tv?

    well, blook II, they let rush back on the radio and hes in the middle of a floridian drug ring.

    so how come they didnt show michael jackson’s tv special on cbs?

    i dunno, cuz hes black?

    tony, hes not black.

    seems to me cbs is just making another in their series of f-ups. first they pulled The Reagans over to showtime, and now they’re shelving what would probably have been the most-watched michael jackson special of all.

    i think youre drinking some powerful rum, nobody wants to watch a child molester grab his crotch.

    true my inanimate friend, but people love controversy, and train wrecks, which is why they’ll watch paris hilton on tuesday, which, if you notice, fox didnt pull off the air even after it was revealed that their star had sex!

    today is thanksgiving tony, and i gotta say, im thankful for paris hilton.

    im with you there, blook II.

    hey can you turn the channel to nbc, that dumbass band Simple Plan, the one where the guy whines about being a dick, addicted to you are on tv, in the macys day parade.

    looks like theyre on a float with two m&ms on it.

    is this an ad for m&m’s?

    no, blook II, it’s a parade.

    hold on, katie couric is about to introduce them

    katie: “say hello to hollywood cuz theyre going hollywood on the m&ms network balloon, furnished by m&ms chocolate candies. who can ever forget the red m&ms character and his famous award acceptence speech? ‘you like me, you really do like me.’ and thats no hollywood hype, both the red and yellow m&ms characters (stumbles because shes reading) have been superstar sweets for half a century.”

    matt lauer: “katie, getting in on the act, a group whose new d- dvd (stumbling, hes reading too) featuring the smash hit “addicted” is in stores even as we march. it’s time for the exciting punk rock rhythms of simple plan.”

    hey tony.

    yeah blook II.

    kill me now please.

    me first, buddy.

    are you thankful for anything this year?

    dude, im thankful for everything this year.

    like what, youre obviously not happy with your job, you dont have a car, your cubs broke your fucking heart this year and then showed it to you while it was still beating, you havent had a steady girlfriend for years, youre ugly, your breath stink, dirty dishes in your sink, your apartments cold, your carpal isnt all that much better, and youre old. and youre ugly.

    ok you said that already. first of all, fuck you. secondly this year my hits increased by 10 per cent.

    a whole ten percent? stop the presses!

    funny you bring that up, blook II, this year the LA Times said i was the most entertaining blog in LA.

    suddenly youre jockin the times?

    also, i love my job. so shut up.

    youre just saying that cuz they yelled at you for saying that you hated your job.

    didnt i tell you to shut it?

    … yes.

    fuck, man.

    im sorry.

    it’s the only job i have, bro. chill.

    well, you are ugly, and theres nothing to be thankful for for that.

    sure there is, i could be as ugly as you.

    yeah, whats up with my cover? are people buying me?

    sure, sales are great.

    well, maybe theyd buy more if there was a better cover.

    whats wrong with the cover?

    i just think people would rather see something like a pretty girl on your cover than your junky sad closet.

    but thats where i write you.

    and hi, is that bong next to your computer?

    it’s a tommy chong bong, i burn my incense in there.

    you’re less punk rock, tony, than simple plan.

    im just representing, bro.

    put a picture of karisa on my cover?

    no, karisa doesnt want to be famous.

    how about ashley?

    nah, she doesnt want me anymore.

    what about your true love?

    blook II isnt about my true love, its about going to hell with kurt cobain, dating cheerleaders, riding a bus, fighting the good fight, and working for the xbi.

    people dont like your xbi stories, tony.

    theres not that many in there.

    put a picture of christina aguleria on the cover.

    all her pictures are copywritten. id have to pay the photographer or the publisher or someone tons.

    what about paris hilton?

    same thing. copyrights and stuff. but id love to have paris hilton on your cover.

    what about if you put paris hiltons face on christina agueleras body and called it art.

    and if i did that you think more people would buy you?

    yeah.

    ok youre stupid. and it wouldnt be art.

    hmmm. what if you got a screen grab from her sex video. is that copywritten?

    interesting.

    it would be pornographic though, huh?

    not if i took a frame where you cant see anything except her face.

    ok, why dont you work on that.

    ok, i might.

    and why dont you keep the presale going for another week, a lot of people took this week off and will be bummed if they missed the suprise presale.

    ok. cool. no problem.

    awesome, tony. rock on dude.

    blook, you rock on as well.

    youre still ugly.

    i know… i know.

    blook II presale until 12/7 + excerpt + jason sutter