1. Monday, November 3, 2003

    i dont want to be inspired by puff daddy 

    but i have to be inspired by puff daddy.

    either the Diddy Does the City was the greatest rope-a-dope since Dubya took office, where we thought that no way could this fool pull off what he’s fixing to pull off, or both of these men are the smartest motherfuckers in showbiz.

    Bro was partying in the Dirty South on my tv weeks before he was supposed to run that shit yesterday. he had a rum in one hand and a vodka in the other. his man friday was dancing like he just didnt care, the young girls were crying when the diddy was signing autographs in the club, the mic was handed to him and he said ho and they said ho ho right back. fool had a hangover the size of a georgia peach and he had to tell his crew that he couldnt work out that morning.

    and still he got up yesterday morning, got his fat black ass out there, and he ran 26 point whatever miles and finished the damn new york marathon while all the cameras waited for him to fail.

    i hate to do it but im going to have to give my man props.

    his goal was to beat Oprahs 4 hour time. and he barely did it. his goal was to run and raise a million bucks for three charities, one being much needed funds for four NYC public schools. fucker raised two mil.

    what i liked about the MTV special about him training for the marathon was it showed him eating too much, canceling training sessions, being an ass to his assistants, and even his entourage talking shit about him to his face and in the camera.

    at one point he really wanted some fried chicken and everyone said nooooo! and he picked it up and ate it and everyone screamed.

    then this dude said, Diddy Eats the City.

    classic.

    in another scene, the Bad Boy records president is sore from his training, so he slides into his tub and his people dumped buckets after buckets of ice into the tub to his protests.

    let me talk to you. let me TALK TO YOU, he pleaded and they stopped putting ice in his tub.

    and then they let him talk and then they dumped more in there.

    and then one final cube.

    it was funny.

    im glad he got his money.

    rock on soul brotha, now do us all a favor and spend as much time and effort on the music

    the music

    as you do on the hype and the clothes and the honeys and the money and the bling and the bling and the manservant and the who ha.

    thank you.

    evan + evan + goose