tonight im not going to have sex with a super cool,

very fun, super smart, big titted hot chick. but i am going to sleep with her. and i havent mastur-you know- in almost a week. and i have porn playing on my tv right now. and she is incredibly soft. and her roommate is gone. and she has a great bed. and i have like 100 condoms.

its an experiment in stupidity. the idea is to rile myself up so much while i write this dirty novel, that hopefully, as it gets written, it will get hotter and more crazed with each turn of the page.

heres how i got the date, since the kids always ask me how i do it:

Superhotbabe: did you leave yet?

dumbme: no

dumbme: im about to go in the shower

Superhotbabe: ok, are you sleeping over

dumbme: ok do you want me to?

Superhotbabe: well, its up to you

dumbme: actually its up to you

Superhotbabe: well it could be fun

Superhotbabe: I am inviting you

Superhotbabe: but it is up to you to accept

dumbme: i accept

Superhotbabe: ok

dumbme: maybe you should wear something sexy

Superhotbabe: you think?

dumbme: i need to be riled up as i write

Superhotbabe: hmmmm

dumbme: i dont need to be

dumbme: but i think it would be good

dumbme: for the art

Superhotbabe: you got it, now get in the shower

dumbme: can i put this chat on my page?

Superhotbabe: sure

dumbme: i’ll change your name… slightly

Superhotbabe: ok

dumbme: thanks!

Superhotbabe: see you soon

dumbme: probably 915

Superhotbabe: ok

dumbme: do you want a burger?

Superhotbabe: come in and get a parking pass

Superhotbabe: no, i already ate

dumbme: ok

dumbme: do you need anything?

Superhotbabe: no, i’m good thanks

dumbme: k bye!

Superhotbabe: bye

there you have it, all my secrets revealed

for your ass.

bastard family + twisted fans + pressure zone