1. Tuesday, November 11, 2003

    tsar came down from the mountaintop last night 

    to grace los angeles with their presence and they began the evening with the unbelievably dramatic Smart Boys. and let me tell you a little something about the best band in america when they start the fucking show with Smart Boys

    when tsar opens with Smart Boys youre in for a hellride of rock.

    and it built and it peaked and it ended oops it was a false ending and it ended oops another false ending and then it ended

    and that was just Smart Boys

    and then tsar opened up a can of whoop ass and destroyed everyone justlikethat.

    im destroyed in a nice way.

    this one girl likes me, i can tell. shes very shy though so she doesnt send me nudes. i think thats fine. she does chat with me a lot and when she does she likes to talk dirty.

    i think thats fine too.

    the other day she said, oooh tony, why dont you come over here and let me give you a back rub and then why dont you tie me up and then why dont you just fuck the hell out of me as hard as you possibly can.

    tsar’s version of the back rub was Smart Boys.

    they were inspired last night, america. i dont know why. they played song after song that they usually do as encores. they did two covers in a row right in the middle of the show the 1910 Fruitgum Co.’s “Goody Goody Gumdrops” and the Pooh Sticks’s “Sex Head.”

    i think they played the entire second side of led zeppelins houses of the holy, im not sure, i was floored by the energy and power and majesty of the rock being pummelled into my very being.

    all i know is i saw stars i felt footsteps i drank out of peer pressure and then i was driven home by a pretty girl who told me it was going to be ok.

    apparently i was crying tears of joy.

    it was tremendous.

    it was maniacal.

    i was introduced to a famous music video director who also couldnt believe his eyes and asked me to pinch him because he could have been dreaming, so i pinched him and he said he needed to reevaluate his life because he suddenly believes in God.

    and as my ears were ringing as i said my prayers as my electric blanket clicked on i remembered i hadnt had a chance to say goodnight to

    katie + matt + steve