poor josh.

nicki minaj

all he wanted was someone to love.

a cute little blonde girl maybe who would chat with him on the innernet and tell him nice little stories about her life and make him feel like a million bucks.

well josh got lucky, not only did he find this girl but she was super cute.

she sorta looked like madpony lauren, except her names Chelsey.

everything a guy could want.

she had a horse, hot girlfriends, a selfdeprecating sense of humor.

and mad web design skillz.

craziest thing though, not only does Chelsey have a horse, but her horse is named Bugsy just like Laurens!

what are the odds!

looks like lauren and has a horse named the same as laurens!

as ashley would say “twinsies!”

oh, josh, you lucky lucky dirty dog.


then on top of it his girl Chelsey has a friend who looks just like lauren’s sister Kristin pony, ‘cept she spells it Kristen.

and whats super dooper crazy is Chelsey has a different friend who looks like Kristin, except her name is Tiffany.

and if that wasnt enough, she even has a friend who looks like Kristin whose name is Melanie.

God i love the innnernet.

first we were all lucky enough to get introduced to the madpony girls, and now, lo and behold, out here in california theres a girl who looks just like Lauren and has three friends who all look like Kristin!

i showed my friends Chelsey’s hometown-aol webpage and they all said it was fake

i was all, fake?

they said yeah dude, look at that picture that she says was taken at Payless.

i said, yeah…?

they said Payless doesnt have no fuckin pajamas in it!

i was crushed.

they i was crushed about what josh would think!

so i went back to her webpage and found her aol screenname and i decided id get down to the bottom of it.

me: i have a quick question for you

Piink Lava: i dont want to talk to u i dont know u

one thing ive learned in the xbi, when trying to convince people to do things with you, begin by agreeing with them

me: i dont know you either

Piink Lava: ok then wut do u want???

me: does Josh know that you’re not the girl in the pics?

Piink Lava: sorry but i am the girl i the pics i have sign pics and baby pics to prove now leave me alone

Piink Lava signed off at 9:42:27 PM.

so there you have it.


there is not only another lauren, but shes younger, lives in cali, and has three hot friends who look like kristin.

and one of her pictures is nearly exactly like the madpony christmas card that they sent out to 100+ people this year.

i heart this country.

update: within minutes Chelsey took down “her” page out of shame of being exposed on the busblog, here’s a cached version of the main page and photo page and heres “her” image directory… maybe the girls just look like our madpony friends

chelsey’s original page: piink lava + fakerz do this to nay all the time

if you want to know what traffic was like in LA

before the whiteman showed up, you just need to drive around on a day like today.

when everyone is away for the holidays.

when everyone has the week off.

except for the superheroes.

like you.

i dont usually drive to work but my true love loaned me her car while she vacations in snowy oregon with her lovely family. typically the commute would take about 35 minutes. today it took 12.

even people on their cell phones didnt really ruin the commute.

sometimes i wonder what these people are talking about.

what on earth is there to talk about at 7:50am? who are they talking to?

i remember when i got my first cell phone. i swore it would only be used in cases of emergency or to tell people when i was running late.

i remember when i was a virgin i swore that i would only have sex with girls who were my girlfriends.

i remember when i was 15 and i was thinking about getting my drivers license. i swore i would go to church every day if i had a car.

i suppose some goals are easier to stick to than others.

my goal to you, gentle reader, is to make this blog as good as i can make it in the upcoming year.

instead of writing three times a day i want to write four times a day.

i want to put more things on my main page, i want to put up more original pictures, have more interviews, have a page of little video clips i take, and run Lick the way i know it can be run.

this year was a tough one for me. i thought i had the dream job of my life, then poof it was gone. i thought the cubs were gonna go to the world series and then quicker than you can say bartman it was gone.

things with ashley took a terrible turn for the worse.

if it wasnt for tivo, rivers of rum, the dulcet tunes of rock group tsar, all of my wonderful friends, and the long line of adoring young women who are all too eager to please me, i would have been a complete wreck.

and you would have had a better blog to read.

i promise to give you even better quality next year.

i promise.

quantity and quality.

as pete rose once said, more than any showdog can jump over.

i hope you all stick with me and continue to remain loyal as things progress.

your positive thoughts mean everything to me.

may your commute to wherever youre going be smooth and worry-free.

whats your damage + walk with fire + star sailing