1. Monday, December 22, 2003

    fuck you, time magazine. 

    do i look like a fucking bitch? do i?

    even if i do, do you have to treat me like a fucking bitch?

    i love our troops as much as the next guy, but fuck you with this shallow insincere pandering rah rah yellow-ribbon god bless ameribullshit.

    other than getting sent to war, seriously, what did the troops do that was all that amazing?

    is it sacrilege to say that? no it isn’t. they did their fucking jobs. just like school teachers and firemen and cops and bloggers. and if you don’t think that each of those gigs means taking your life in your hands try writing a post like this one.

    i have no problem with our troops. i don’t blame them for taking nine months to find saddam in his little dirt hole. i don’t blame them for being human pawns in a third grade political play.

    i don’t even blame them for telling that one abc reporter that they were sick of the war back in june and they wanted to go home.

    because i love them and respect them and support them, i want them to go home too.

    but they weren’t the person of the year.

    you don’t get to be person of the year when justin timberlake has a better year than you.

    you don’t get to be person of the year when pudge rodriguez has a better year than you.

    and you damn sure don’t get to be person of the year when hugh hefner is not only still kickin, but doing so with six girlfriends (still!), and a groundbreaking magazine that turned fifty.

    this year.

    a magazine that kicks the shit out of yours, time magazine, suck up, teachers pet, bullshitter, edge loser, money launderer, and sellout of the year.

    fucking rush limbaugh had a better year than our troops this year but you’re too chicken shit to say so.

    i fucking hate rush but i’ll say it.

    dumb fat son of a bitch fucking got accused of popping thousands of pain killers, got accused of being in the middle of a floridian drug ring, got accused of frauding the banks, got accused of having four doctors so he could quadruple his prescription pill intake, and all he ended up doing was five weeks in rehab where he got to do his second favorite thing next to gargling with oxycontin: talking about himself.

    he didn’t lose his lucrative and powerful job, he somehow avoided the wrath of being exposed as americas biggest hypocrite, and he (so far) hasn’t had to spend even an hour in a jail cell.

    there have been no arrest warrants, no mug shots, no jet rides to an awaiting Expedition to the county clink for fingerprinting.

    right before our eyes rush limbaugh has gotten away with doing what more than 60 per cent of american men in jail are serving time for: drug related crimes.

    and you know what time magazine, as much as your chin still has remnants of rushs dna, even he doesn’t deserve the person of the year this year, and one final time, no offense to our brave men and women in uniform who have the worst fucking job in the world as they freeze tonight in the godforsaken deserts of iraq, mere target practice for any motherfuckin punk motherfucker who wants to take pot shots at america, but they’re not the person of the year either.

    your pal osama bin laden is person of the year

    and you fucking know it.

    the terrorists have won. and you told us he was terrorist number one, and the president told us, and the vice president told us, as did colin and donald and candy and everyone.

    and im sorry if i look at the scoreboard and on one side i see the fucking terror alert at nearly the top of the scale, airports not allowing me to kiss a cheerleader goodbye at the gate any more, and her not allowed to pack a fucking nail file in her coach bag.

    and on the other side i don’t see osama getting found for the second full year in a row, but i do see george bush’s approval rating creeping up only six points after he “got” saddam.

    osama is the phantom menace and he is the golden ticket and whoever finds him wins and im sorry aol time warner but your person of the year did not find the real person of the year and you know it and they know it and its fucked up but that’s what time it really is.


    and even tupac came out with another record this year.

    And a damn movie.

    and its precisely this shit why nobody fucking reads your lame ass any more outside of a dentists waiting room.

    gilliam + anti + amy