had fun this morning. probably wont have fun today. but i will have fun tonight.
anna kournikova called me last night. i was watching no doubt on the billboard awards at the time.
she wasnt happy with what i wrote about her the other day.
she wanted to let me know that our private conversations are not fodder for the blog, the internet, or anything.
i told her to complain to her husband.
she told me that he wasnt her husband any more and that maybe they never got married in the first place.
i told her i wasnt interested in her gemini behavior.
she said what gemini behavior.
i said all this dating this guy dating that guy marrying this russian hockey player- sorta, marrying that latin boybander – sorta.
she said, enrique was never in a boyband.
i was all, wasnt he in menudo.
she said, no!
i said, i coulda sworn he was.
she was all, quit mixing him up with ricky martin.
i was all, my tivo is waiting.
she was all, sometimes youre the biggest dick.
i was all, thats not necessarilly a bad thing.
she was like fuck you tony pierce
i was like again anna what you are saying sounds like an invitation. it sounds like youre begging for it, and not a put down.
then she yelled, maybe i am begging for it but youre being such an asshole.
then i said ok thats an irrefutable putdown, but i dont get it on with married chicks.
then she said some mean things in russian.
i said, do not put those old school iron curtain curses on me.
and then she started sobbing.
im such a sucker for crying girls. ashley used to get me all the time with that.
but she taught me that when girls start crying to just hang up.
which i did.
and it sounded like this.