1. Thursday, December 11, 2003

    had fun last night. 

    had fun this morning. probably wont have fun today. but i will have fun tonight.

    anna kournikova called me last night. i was watching no doubt on the billboard awards at the time.

    she wasnt happy with what i wrote about her the other day.

    she wanted to let me know that our private conversations are not fodder for the blog, the internet, or anything.

    i told her to complain to her husband.

    she told me that he wasnt her husband any more and that maybe they never got married in the first place.

    i told her i wasnt interested in her gemini behavior.

    she said what gemini behavior.

    i said all this dating this guy dating that guy marrying this russian hockey player- sorta, marrying that latin boybander – sorta.

    she said, enrique was never in a boyband.

    i was all, wasnt he in menudo.

    she said, no!

    i said, i coulda sworn he was.

    she was all, quit mixing him up with ricky martin.

    i was all, my tivo is waiting.

    she was all, sometimes youre the biggest dick.

    i was all, thats not necessarilly a bad thing.

    she was like fuck you tony pierce

    i was like again anna what you are saying sounds like an invitation. it sounds like youre begging for it, and not a put down.

    then she yelled, maybe i am begging for it but youre being such an asshole.

    then i said ok thats an irrefutable putdown, but i dont get it on with married chicks.

    then she said some mean things in russian.

    i said, do not put those old school iron curtain curses on me.

    and then she started sobbing.

    im such a sucker for crying girls. ashley used to get me all the time with that.

    but she taught me that when girls start crying to just hang up.

    which i did.

    and it sounded like this.

    click.

    hi, craigslist chicago + hi vodkapundit + hi, baldilocks