1. Wednesday, December 3, 2003

    how do i love paris? 

    let me count the ways. i cant believe that theres even debate over whether or not shes pretty.

    its nearly as shocking to me as someone like dc putting me on the top of his links list and then saying he never got JD Salinger.

    its like, what?

    paris just might be the most beautiful girl in town. and this is a big town. sure she looks a little manly sometimes in the face. and shes frighteningly thin, but isnt that hip these days?

    yeah she has no boobs to speak of, shes got no ass, her nose is longer than most, and she dates all the wrong men, but big whoop. she likes short skirts and making out. whats not to love?

    i also like her hair.

    this morning i realized how much i enjoy commuting. i like the walk to the subway, i like reading as i wait for the train, i like standing up and reading, i like transferring to the other train, i like getting out of the train and walking up the stairs.

    i like hating the people on the escalator who stand on the left side of the escalator. i like getting on the bus – especially if its empty. i like reading an entirely different book on the bus. i like riding along and occassionally looking at all the interesting people.

    i like how mellow and quiet it can be.

    i like walking the few blocks from the bus stop to the xbi.

    and then i like turning on my computer and seeing all your sweet comments.

    if i had a car i dont think i would like the commute as much. in fact im sure i wouldnt.

    karisa is going to have me cat-sit her kitties over christmas vacation and shes letting me use her xterra and as much as that will be convienent for certain things like laundry and grocery shopping, i will miss my little morning routine, which is vital because when i get to work im usually bombarded immediately.

    my job is really hard. and the hardest thing is is i can never look good at it. either youre doing your job and big deal, or youre fucking up and people get a chance to berate you. it’s like being a very low paid airplane pilot. if you do it right you just have to go do it again. if you fuck up everyone dies and your widow wears black.

    i dont know how i got stuck in this situation. but i do feel stuck.

    only thing keeping my spirits up is you, and the unproven belief that everything happens for a reason.

    melting dolls + adrants + inluminent