1. Tuesday, December 2, 2003

    saw a hot chick on the bus this morn 

    she was clearly eating cherries. as you know there is no eating, drinking, or loud music allowed on the bus.

    youre not even supposed to have unnecessary conversations with the operator. but hot chicks can get away with whatever they want.

    ive never understood that.

    do we as men really think that if we’re simply nice to a pretty girl that she will become overwhelmed with the desire to procreate with us?

    i seriously think we do.

    i know the busdriver sure was checking her out eating those cherries in his rearview. i sure know the sleepy guy with his security uniform on was watching every bite. i sure know the two armenian guys speaking armenian were talking about her and smiling and whispering and then laughing and looking.

    even my buddy with his little brown sack deceptively hiding his morning can of pabst had both his blood shot eyes checking her out.

    and then there was me. your hero. i too watched her because it was amazing. full on disregard to the laws of the bus was going on right in front of me, and nobody cared.

    if anything they were jazzed by it.

    i put my nose back into salingers nine stories thinking about how perfect “a perfect day for banannafish” is and how i will never be able to write that way in a zillion years, never mind a million.

    and soon our girl wrapped her cherry stems into her awaiting papertowel, she then folded that into the ziplock sandwich bag, and then stuffed it into her hello kitty leather purse.

    only thing she could have done more unconsiousable would have been if she had poured herself a coffee from a thermos and then lit up a smoke.

    instead she asked me what time it was and i nodded to the new overhanging l.e.d. signs that have been installed that say “stop requested” for the hearing impared, and then show the date and time so you know how late youre running.

    another nice thing the mta did during the strike was agree that anyone who had an October bus pass could use that one until the end of the year.

    which is probably a good thing to do since the passes will go up in price by 20% in january.

    tonight my girlfriend paris hilton will be on tv but im stuck doing laundry at karisas.

    damn my terrible luck.

    in other news: noooooooooooooooooo

    no left turn unstoned + amy + biz stone, genius