1. Monday, December 8, 2003

    went to the grocery store today 

    one of the striking ones. theres a grocery store strike going on in california, fyi.

    i dont know why the people are striking, but they are. four grocery stores: albertsons, ralphs, vons, and some other one. basically all the biguns.

    somehow they pulled the strikers away from Ralphs and said that we can shop there if we want, but the people who will be working there will be scabs, but its cool. dont ask me how that makes any sense.

    lately ive just been eating out cuz when i sold hot dogs at candlestick i was union and i loved being union and i swore that id never cross a picket line cuz being union ruled so mightilly.

    so i went into the store today, and right before thanksgiving the Teamsters said that they would honor the strike and they wouldnt bring food to the striking stores. somehow that doesnt include Ralphs, who today had about 90% of the food that they normally had.

    what was missing? you ask. well, let me tell you. about half of the make-your-own salad tray, pre-cooked chickens, various chunks of fruits and vegetables, etc.

    but what was really missing was the smile and professionalism of the checker.

    the dude i got, the scab, was bad!

    imagine that.

    here the guy is getting paid to screw over a striking worker and he was no good at it.

    i didnt get a receipt and the chick behind me didnt get a bag.

    for those of you reading this from third world countries, let me explain something to you about america and our grocery stores: we Are our grocery stores.

    supermarkets is what we call them. there needs to be every fruit and vegetable that can be grown or manufactured – all ripe, no blemish, and low priced. every shelf needs to be packed. every corner display needs to be bright and cheery. there needs to be a huge deli with a short line. there needs to be places where one can sit down and speak to a pharmacist and measure ones blood pressure FOR FREE. there needs to be a machine that will accept all of our coins from our piggy banks and within seconds tell us that we have collected a FORTUNE.

    everything should be on sale.

    we need name brands and generics, seasonal items, international cuisine, fresh meats and seafoods, and hot bread at any hour. there should be a customer service counter where i can get my bus pass and where michael jackson can get his payday advances.

    and that shit needs to be 24/7 with free parking.

    i once went to a supermarket that made you put a quarter in a shopping cart so you could use it, and once you returned it you got your quarter back.

    we burned that store down within a week.

    even the old ladies arrived with mason jars filled with gasoline.

    so, todays experience with only 90 percent of the store filled did not impress me, nor did the poor service. so i will begin my strike against Ralphs post-haste. thank you.

    banks + brody + right over there