we lost a bid on william hung.
i was all, make him a porn star.
they were all, you wanna make everyone a porn star.
i was like, his name is hung!
they were like sooooo?
i was all, and he runs around singing “she bangs!”
one girl was all, tony, quit talking.
i said, dudes love to see non-handsome dudes have sex with beautiful women.
another girl put her hand over her ears.
i continued: the first video could be called He Bangs.
a third girl sighed. probably cuz she agreed secretly.
then, i said, his next film could be called “i have no professional training.”
the first girl scoffed and said, “film?”
i looked at her and said in my most serious manner
william hung very well could be the most important male adult star since ron jeremy.
her jaw dropped.
a dude chimed in with, ron jeremy has a huge sausage.
i said, exactly! which is why mr. hung would be a more compelling.
instead we went for the william hung line of school backpacks.
they made me pitch it
but it was obvious that my heart wasnt into it
and thats why i ended up in the temple till nine oclock last night.
playing that tetris ripoff game.
coyote has a gay marriage photo essay