1. Tuesday, February 10, 2004

    a heavy butterscotch moon 

    which became safari sam's

    hung over the ghetto of east hollywood tonight as i drove to the jack in the box to get miss montreal her number four plain.

    she hadnt seen my shaved head yet and i was secretly hoping that she was going to take me up on my little dare but life is never as good as what you dream about on blogs and she just wanted to say hi and hang out and drink and kiss a little and watch average joe and smoke some of her wacky tabbacky. she kept offering it to me and it smelled good but nah. dope is fer dopes. hugs not drugs i told her and snuggled up againster as we watched the hottie weed through the men who wished to woo her.

    i do have a good life and i realized this on vermont where there appeared to be a crushing use of force between a metro bus and a two door hatchback and im not usually a lookie loo but i saw a man on the pavement surrounded by paramedics totally passed out and naked. i surmised that his clothes had been cut off of him so the doctors could get at whatever they needed to get at.

    and let me tell you a thing or two about pavement. back in the olden days when i went to college i was a skater. i skateboarded everywhere and every now and then i would hit an acorn or find a rut in the sidewalk or hit a wet spot and begin to soar through the air with the greatest of ease.

    of the many lessons that i learned at the university of isla vista was that road and skin should never rub against each other with any real force. the skin just rips so easilly as if by being alive and young we are simply marinating our fragile flesh.

    so i saw this guy face down naked middle of the street etc and i thought whats stopping me from being that guy. i walk around not giving a fuck. i fly around in a damn copter. i get shot at by assholes daily. who’s to say that one day that might not be me. and then i thought i know whos to say and i better get right with him or im fucked.

    came home and i called my mom and told her i loved her.

    hung up and then i told the girl that i was happy she was here.

    and then she attempted to suck the life out of me.

    then she got pretty close but not really that close cuz im a freak of nature so we adjourned to my chambers and we gave the walls something to wish they could talk about.

    thats for damn sure.

    then she shaved the five oclock shadow from my head and asked me if i knew how ridiculously adorable i looked which is a very nice thing to say even if its just to be nice

    while the saggy moon resisted its inevitable nightly assention into the heavens cuz usually its better in hollywood.

    mr sutter has an funny quiz + kevin cole calls my afro auction genius + britcoal lays it out