1. Saturday, March 20, 2004

    dear fcc commisioner colin powell jr michael powell, 

    your excellency,

    i know youre not in the business of fining black people, but i think in this case you must make an exception.

    i heard that oprah winfrey during her oprah winfrey show this week discussed a horrible sex act that is not only sexual (which you cannot talk about between the hours of 6am and 10pm) but mr powell it was also excratory.

    oprah winfrey had a woman on her show telling people what a Tossed Salad was.


    WINFREY: OK–so–OK, so what is a salad toss?

    Ms. BURFORD: OK, a tossed salad is–get ready; hold on to your underwear for this one–oral anal sex. So oral sex to the anus is what tossed salad is.

    Hi, Mom.

    mr. powell, wtf is that all about?

    and dont say it was “educational”.

    my teachers never told me to hold onto my underwear before they taught me how to do long division.

    i applaud you for digging back to 2001 and deciding to fine him for discussing a blumpin, which i was appauled to learn from his show was getting you knob licked while you took a dump.

    how utterly sickening.

    next thing we’ll have is jessica simpson telling her husband that she wants a dirty sanchez or a gorrila mask.

    but wait, thats cable so its cool.

    kids dont watch mtv.

    and your job is to protect the kids, right.

    then stop oprah winfrey.

    she is on when kids are home (3p, 4p) and parents arent.

    at least most kids are in school when howard stern is blah blah blahing with strippers and celebs and political figures, but oprah is a far greater threat.

    and how did she get so much damn money?

    she only has one show!

    i dont trust her michael powell, but that isnt relevant. whats relevant is she talked about sex and scat in the same sentence. it was on tape, she coulda bleeped it or edited it but no, she ran it and sold commercials around it and put it on every tv station she could.

    too bad this didnt happen after the senate is bound to pass the indecency bill because then you could have fined her a half million dollars in every market that she said those damaging and sickening things, because then you could have put her out of business and bankrupt immediately.

    fine oprah or reverse the howard ruling.

    or youre a republican uncle tom bitch only interested in fucking with whitey.

    which im cool wit.

    love always,


    gorilla mask + beautiful mistake + metrosexual