my name is tony pierce.
i am 110 years old and i live near you but i live in hollywood.
i think youre swell.
i know youre probably a big fat hairy man. or worse, a republican, but i like you.
i like your website. i like your other website, the secret one, and i like your blog.
sometimes when youre sad it makes me sad. sometimes it makes me smile cuz i know youre just kidding.
lately youve been happy and that makes me very very happy because of all the times you seem so nervous and not happy.
i think you should try to practice to be happy.
heres how i practice.
what i do is i sit on my curb and i look at people.
i monitor myself and whenever i think Fuck what a goddamned asshole, i go, oh be nice now. and then i try to be nice. oh, what a hot looking fucking goddamned asshole.
so now i have gotten to the point where i just go, oh hi, look at that nice naked bum pissing so carefully in the gutter for that nice officer of the law to roll his car through.
ok. now here is how to be happy with all that sweet art that you make.
sit in your house and look at the sculptures and charcoals and oil paintings and then sit back and say fuck not many people have these things.
then get a tiny peice of art that you have made and send it to the person who wrote this web page cuz he would be so damn appreciative you dont even know. send it to:
4845 Fountain Ave #15
Hollywood, CA 90029
and he wont ebay that shit.
not even after you die and become hugely famous.
now heres another way that you can be happy and make other people happy too.
email xxxtonyxxx at hotmail and give me a good time that i can catch you on AOL instant messenger so we can have a folow-up interview from the one we did many many many moons gone by.
if you want you can even send me pics of girls who you’d like me to put in the interview thing.
and last but not least, flagrant… i know how much you love the rock music, what you should do, and i think you’ll like this, you need to go to the El Rey on April 5 to see Tsar play there.
theyre the headliners.
theyre going to rock the fucker.
theyre going to bring rock music back to wilshire blvd where it hasnt been in a long long time.
you dont have to say hi to me.
you dont have to buy me a michelob.
you dont have to introduce yourself as splinky the wonder kid.
you can lie if you want cuz sometimes Sometimes lies are funny, you can say hi my name is angela romano and god i love your blog.
and i will be so drunk + happy to be at a tsar show i wont even know what youre doing and later if you want when we’re in an olde folkes home you can say remember that time at the el rey on passover night in two thousand and four…