1. Thursday, March 25, 2004

    everyone is coming to the Tsar show on April 5 at the El Rey on the Miracle Mile 

    even Jupiter, Saturn, Mars, Venus and Mercury.

    so you should come too.

    this is going to be a mindblowing show. apparently theres a new attitude at the old historic LA theatre: they want good bands to play. so the first band that the brand new booker chose, no lie, were your boys Tsar.

    and Tsar was all, cool, thanks, who are we opening for?

    and the booker dude was all, no, youre the headliners.

    and they were all, but our album wont even be out yet.

    and the dude was like, so.

    and they were all, but we dont have a video or a bunch of hype or anything.

    and he was all, so.

    and they were all, but we’ve been playing tiny little clubs as little warm up gigs before we tour the world and the booker guy was all, you are the best band in LA, you have a hot new cd coming out, you will fucking rock these old walls and shake the foundations, if there is one band that needs to be playing real venues its inside-out Star.

    and they were all, cool.

    so to celebrate im inviting you, my los angeles readers, to come to the show.

    im also inviting my san diego readers

    im inviting my oc readers

    im inviting my ex girlfriends and former employees

    im inviting all the hot babes of the web who want to meet me and touch my bald head

    im inviting all the stalkers who want to meet karisa

    im inviting everyone who can read this message to come to hollywood california on passover monday as the planets align and the sound of a new generation is hear.

    a call in the wilderness as passionate as the cry of a wanting virgin on her wedding night

    one of absolute pleasure and delicous pain

    of fantastical beauty and endless wonderment

    the sound of curious eyes being opened for the very first time in the name of rock.

    im calling you out to witness the end of the bullshit and the beginning of a new regime in power punk.

    this is your chance to experience the majesty which is tsar.

    say you’ll come.

    tsar + balloon farm + the invisible hand + uppity-negro + betsy