theres some girls who want to be my girlfriend but they dont really. not my girlfriend. my girlfriend knows im a knucklehead. my girlfriend knows that usually once or twice a year a girl from the internet wants to meet me and actually does. my girlfriend knows that i like my many mansions. my girlfriend knows that there are rules for me and rules for the world and they dont always match up. my girlfriend knows that im addicted to writing. my girlfriend knows that im incredibly loyal. my girlfriend knows that sometimes i forget my shit cuz it takes me probably two hours to leave my house because i am close to having that disease where the person never wants to leave his house ever. my girlfriend knows that when i say i dont want to talk about something i really dont want to talk about it and i cant get suckered into talking about it. my girlfriend knows that i am the most honest person in the world and when i tell her that something went a certain way and shes probably better off then maybe she should just chill cuz shes probably better off.
my girlfriend knows that occasionally i truly need some tonytime where i can just drink my rum alone crank the rancid and tap tap tap on my computer and hope that something decent comes over the transom. my girlfriend woulda given me a day to chill after having to be tourguide for a week during the month of pisces. my girlfriend knows i aint going anywhere. my girlfriend knows that being jealous only makes me less. cuz i know i aint doing anything to get jealous over. my girlfriend always comes over. my girlfriend looks good in a robe and lets me feel her up even when shes mad at me. my girlfriend says did you have a nice time with that redhead and i’ll say yeah and she’ll say well lets see if she taught you anything. and when i tell my girlfriend that theres stuff i dont even want to get into she will remember that i am xbi and theres probably something that im completely dead serious about so she should lay off.
my girlfriend knows that im not going to be single forever and one day i will have a girlfriend and if she thinks that she and i might be able to make it work she would look at all the little things and the big things and the mistakes and all the right things and she will remind herself that i just might be the most fucked up person in the world and all im trying to do is make it all work out and all im trying to do is make it so everyone is cool with everything which is probably why i tried to work shit out weeks ago.
my girlfriend knows how to bowl.