1. Wednesday, March 17, 2004

    i get every tv channel on gods green earth 

    and for the last two hours ive been surfing the web and watching of all things american idol. what a horrible show. are there no more good unsigned singers in america?

    simon and the black dude had a fake little fight to make the show interesting, but American Idol is over. fuck it. it’s dead.

    my truest called. some people dont like it when i call her that. including her. whatev. we only spin around this fuckhole once. may as well be honest to people. she called. she used to talk to me about her work and i used to not want to talk to her about it. now for some reason i have become a better friend and i want to listen and help and of course once we get into it she tells me she doesnt want to talk about work any more. its funny.

    as always i begged for her hand in marriage again. i told her that if she said yes i would run across town to her awaiting arms. she said thats like 11 miles! i said fine, id run to the busstop. which is funny because when our love was first blossoming i wouldnt even walk two blocks to her house. lifes funny. not funny haha. sometimes its not funny at all.

    some asswipe just turned on the lights. fuck that.

    im at the xbi now. its not where i want to be. i dont know where i want to be. i want to be in iv. i want to be alone. i want to be where grumpy olde men like me should be. on the porch of an old hotel in a rocking chair looking at the sports pages for the third time commenting about the skinny young ladies and their tiny little rat dogs trying to outdo each other by talking about the amount of times we used to beat off as teens. please let there be a heaven. please let there be one. even if i cant get in, please let there be one cuz maybe maybe maybe i can get in there.

    there is a heaven and its zip code ends in 117.

    a young girl in another state chatted with me last night and told me that she is completely shaved. completely. there used to be a time when that would have put a smile on my face for a good week. those were the days.

    another even younger girl wrote me a very sexy story for Lick about how she wants to get it on with someone soon. how great she’d be at it. and i bet she’d be great at it. that made me happy.

    but i laughed out loud maybe 9 times talking to my truest, but if ever there was a closed door thats it. might as well be bolted. might as well be a door on the 100th floor of tower #2.

    at least i dont live on the east coast.

    and another thing, fuck st. patty.

    hey red + jaime + bored housewife