first i put on my dress pants to go undercover and it wasnt pretty. my gut, my big gut has this huge way of messing with my mornings. everythings fine when i wear my shorts when i get to fly, but when i have to walk the streets and dress like a grownup, it fucks my shit.
ate some of those Wow chips yesterday and my poops have been insane.
got a phone call from my good pal aj who is now teaching at ucsb. just for the quarter. have i told you that she invited me to teach one of her classes during the last week in april? all true. all wonderful. all awesome. i get to teach jim carroll’s the basketball diaries which were excerpts of his real diaires from when he was 12 to 15.
im starving. im drinking water and listening to Lovelines. i want to eat cheetos, i want to eat famous amos cookies, i want to eat mint chocolate chip ice cream, i want to make a sandwhich, but im tired of my food shooting right through me like it was a slip n slide.
aj said that the kids are going to love me. she says that she plays a few tracks of music at the begining of each class. today she played the replacements bastards of young and tori amos covering nirvanas teen spirit. the class is coming of age novels. aj rocks the world.
robyn, our advisor, mentor, and role model, who has been teaching at the college of creative studies up at ucsb totally rocks the world and if you ever wanted to know why the earth is tilted its because all the coolness that robyn embodies is so heavy that the world just cant stand up straight.
i wish i had something cool to give her when im up there next month. without robyn i would not be writing the busblog. thats for damn sure.
woke up with a pretty girl today who said she wanted to marry me and have three babies with me. yes, im that good in the sack mr flynt. usually.
funny thing about getting older. even the hottest chicks can come over and look great and be busting out all over and you will be able to ignore that mad passion for a good two three hours. you might even go to bed thinking, yeah, im not going to f her till the morn.
things like having a headache actually win out over before-we-sleep sex.
fortunately my penis is ageless and as the chickie and i were settling down to some sleepytime spoon, my little’n tapped her on the back and said, hey. hey you. you, the super fucking hot chick. yeah. down here. forget the loser im attatched to. hes gay. but me, i want to bang you hard and fast and long and deep.
and it will wake up the hand and tell the hand to warm up her happy spot.
and it keeps tapping on her back.
yeah, you. babydoll. yeah. hi. penisman down here. ready to rock. hi. yes, im hard. im ready. hi.
eventually, because shes not old, infact shes the perfect age, her ass starts grinding around and before you know it jay z in being played loudly and the penis has won another round of quit acting like a million year old guy who thinks this shit grows on trees.
and just imagine if i had actually paid more attention in school