1. Thursday, March 18, 2004

    me and karisa are gonna get married. 

    dont tell her boyfriend.

    i think tom vu is right. i dont have the guts to make a lot of money. i dont have what it takes to go to one of his free seminars. im so old you wouldnt believe it. i should be loaded by now. with my good looks and charm and wit and brains. shit. i should be pulling down five figures by now.

    super hot chick at work has been reading this blog lately. she asks me why i do so well with the ladies. im honest when i tell her i dont know. i tell her its cuz i dont get paid, i dont have a car, i dont have my youth any more, so the lord had to give me something.

    i asked her if she wanted to come over to the crib saturday night and she passed.


    i wouldnt want to get into another fight with miss montreal. even though our makeup session was pretty right on.

    she said she dreampt about me the other day. yes day. it was a day dream. how incredible to get daydreamed about.

    the xbi has these one way glass rooms. its for interrogating. all we ever do… not we… them… all THEY ever do in those rooms is beat peoples asses and give them xbi tattoos. what they do is beat the bad guys to a pulp and then put an anchor tattoo on their shoulder and put “jimmy” or “merle” underneath it so everyone thinks theyre gay.

    i think the whole thing is gay.

    anyway, i was in there today watching some dudes interrogate some dudes and i saw myself in the reflection of the window and i was all, what? these chicks dont mind looking at that? it was baffling.

    unfortunately one of my buddies was reading my mind and esp’ed me with

    if chicks had taste john mayer wouldnt sell so many records

    and i was all, but i dont even look like john mayer!

    then i heard the tattoo guy roll his shit into the interrogation room, i heard the familiar whirrrrrr of the tattoo shit and they said what name are you dudes putting under the anchor.

    and they looked around and said


    and thats the luck ive had today.

    good and bad luck.

    cuz as much as i love karisa she wouldnt let me have the two au pair girls that my babies would need, and she definately wouldnt go for the live in gogo dancer that i’d really like in my advanced age.

    and what would we do when the redsox face the cubs in the series this year?


    kate sullivan + candied ginger + annika