1. Monday, March 1, 2004

    my simpsons desktop calendar 

    tells me that march is women’s history month.

    who knew?

    so what i will do is only put pics of women on this blog for this month. how does that sound.

    women have been integral to my life. my mom raised my sister and i pretty much single-handedly. when she had to work and we were young she sent us to a woman’s home who looked after us and taught me how to play games like scrabble and boggle. all my best teachers in school were women.

    and then there was dianne poliakoff who made me kiss her when i was in grade school.

    ahhh diane.

    thank you for that.

    saw a man take a shit in the subway today.

    actually i was upstairs by the street. i saw a young girl click the elevator button. i clicked my elevator button and we watched to see which elevator would come up first.

    hers came up first.

    but as we got into that empty elevator we saw “my elevator” arrive completely packed full of people.

    the girl and i decended and we saw a man clean up his poop. right next to our elevator.

    i deduced that as people waited for the elevators he dropped trau and took a nice oldfashioned right there. disgusting everyone who rushed to the far elevator.

    he didnt have enough tp to wipe himself and the floor, so kind gent as he was, wiped the floor.

    as i went to the train i saw that he didnt have enough for the floor either.

    and yes, this is why there should be restrooms in the subways of los angeles.

    the reason they dont have any is because theyre afraid that women would get raped in them or that hookers will have sex in them or that bums would sleep in them.

    i say have a camera near the front door and hire pee pee monitors who would announce into the bathroom “i saw you take someone in there! one person at a time in the restrooms. thank you!”

    the pee in the elevators is a normal fragrance, fyi.

    in nicer news: kristin gets interviewed by adrants