1. Monday, March 1, 2004

    my true love sent me to an interesting link 

    on yahoo/reuters that says that only 10% of bloggers update every day.

    and it says that of internet users only 13% have websites and only 2% have blogs!

    tap tap tap

    is this thing on?

    people of earth wake up and get a damn blog!

    they’re free you know.

    look at me: im not a handsome man. i spout off on shit that people say i dont know anything about. in fact nothing on here is true, allegedly.

    and not only has blogging gotten me cold hard cash, but gifts, emails of encouragement from the fellas, and offers of decadence from the ladies.

    witness a conversation that took place mere hours ago:

    Superhotbeachgirl: hi Tony

    dumbass_me: hi baby

    Superhotbeachgirl: Do you know Marc Brown?

    dumbass_me: very well

    Superhotbeachgirl: cause he’s coming to florida and wants to meet up

    dumbass_me: nice

    Superhotbeachgirl: you should come with him

    dumbass_me: i wish

    dumbass_me: marc lives in a sweet loft

    dumbass_me: drives a phat car

    dumbass_me: owns a great web development company, invented Buzznet

    dumbass_me: im just a bum

    Superhotbeachgirl: you are not a bum

    dumbass_me: whens he gonna be out there?

    Superhotbeachgirl: I don’t know, this week I think

    dumbass_me: damn

    dumbass_me: if i went out there would you let me put sunscreen on your back?

    Superhotbeachgirl: I most deffanitly would, not that i need it, im originally from hawaii

    dumbass_me: ive been told i have nice hands

    dumbass_me: but those girls are typically drugged when they mumble those things

    Superhotbeachgirl: you can take all my college girl stress right away?

    dumbass_me: um

    why does this girl know me?


    why does she want me?

    who knows.

    how is marc brown gonna make his fortune?


    it’s how you get hot chicks if you cant play guitar.

    ive told you this over and over. i document it. i take pictures. you see it yourself. and yet i read these sorts of reports all the time. reports that say that blogging is increasing but not skyrocketting.

    you all saw ryan perry from gorilla mask launch his blog and wham, madpony kristin went flying out to meet him.

    you saw that one chick tell everyone that she was addicted to buying things on her credit card and she needed help paying off her debts. and the whole web gave her money to pay off her debts.

    you saw will weaton turn into just another washed up has-been child actor into the blogging star that he is now.

    you saw adam curry actually get *respect* from the internet through blogging when being an mtv vj only gave him bucketloads of due shame.

    i could go on and on.

    blogging will change your life.

    it will make it better.

    maybe not for all of you, but for most of you.

    blogging is an even playing field. you can do it anonymously if you want. you can put your pics all over if you want. you can lie you can tell the truth. you can show up to the party late and take over if you do it right.

    tell me one person who isnt interested in reading a good new blog.

    it can be you.

    you have to update every day, though, unless youre hot like madpony. but even they should update every day.

    write, people. write. i Know you have stories to tell.

    otherwise dumbshits like me will just swoop into your town with mc brown and scoop up all the white women.

    and hawaiian grrrls.

    low culture + kitty bukkake meets sksmith + gorilla mask