whenever i go over there i put magic marker on his hair to make it look more like it is now. she thinks hes dreamy. i call him unfrozen caveman and she throws things at me. i mean it in nice ways. she knows. i think she likes throwing things at me.
the subway just hung out at the vermont sunset station today for five minutes for no apparent reason. just enough time for him to miss the transfer train going to wilshire western. as mayor of la i promise that i will insist that the subway drivers have to radio each other when the get to a transfer station so that when the good citizens of this town who are helping out cut down on traffic congestion and smog and helping the enviornment wont have to see the train leave the station just as theyre running down the stairs.
hey bro we’re running a little late
cuz i hung out at the vermont sunset station for no good reason.
ok, when will you be here?
ok, i’ll wait for your slow ass.
what i want to be is the mayor of isla vista. what i want is to be anywhere than here. what i want is to be one of those guys who drives one of those flatbed trucks that has a huge billboard on it that says drink cherry pepsi.
i could do that job.
what i want to do is be in connecticut tonight as the womens basketball team wins another title for uconn and report to you how theyre burning down their campus.
if i had any job in the world it would be to drive around and report the news of america to you.
yesterday i woulda been in cincy for the cubs opener and i woulda driven all night to make it to uconn for the game today.
then id double back and make it to wrigley for the cubs home opener.
nobody could do that job the way i could.
not drudge cuz hes a sellout towelboy, not wil wheaton cuz he cant whrite, and not those fuckers who gave the la times all those pulitzers. if the times was that good they wouldnt need a staff of a thousand to cold call los angelinos each day 5 times a day to beg them to subscribe.
i let them call me.
i was hoping bunnie metrosexual was going to be at the tsar show. i was hoping splink was going to be at the tsar show. i was hoping lots of people were going to be there but they werent and you know what, it was still fun.
but i still want to travel the country and write about it to you.