1. Sunday, April 18, 2004

    one day there will be a vice president who will hold 

    a five foot bong in his hands so as to appease the pot smoking voters of america. some people say the pot smoker vote isnt an important one but they couldnt be more wrong. the pot smokers are the first to give someone a chance.

    the other day i was at a rock concert and a jay made its way down our row. being straightedge i let it pass by but nearly everyone in our little area was taking puffs and handing it to the next person and none of those people knew what was in that thing but they all just trusted and believed.

    those are the people that i would want to talk to if i was running for an elected office.

    i would consider them an easy vote.

    our vice president, though, yesterday chose to pander to the gun owners association.

    parents get all up in arms about their kids seeing nipples on tv or hearing howard stern talk to strippers because it might fuck up their children and damage them somehow

    but i bet you every day a kid gets shot and or killed by a gun. no wait, im wrong.

    every day 14 kids are killed, 81% from guns.

    wheres the parental outrage?

    sure those are numbers from 1999, the last time the CDC decided to do a study, but 14 kids, 13 kids, 12 kids, even one kid a day dying from a gun, you’d think this would be an issue for those who pretend to be all freaked out by shock jocks.

    far as i can tell, howard stern saying penis hasnt killed anyone.

    In 2001, gun violence killed 29,573 Americans. thats 81 a day. thats more than 3 an hour. thats more than one gun-related death every 20 minutes.

    but there you have the vice president holding his phallic symbol of power and protection and defense and safety.

    three incredibly handsome men checking out that nice long hard shaft.

    whoops a kid just died.

    in ninety minutes another one will go.

    dont let it get you down though, fellas, odds are it was a brown kid.

    keanuvision + the ward + bing