1. Tuesday, May 25, 2004

    madonna reinvented herself at the forum last night 

    kicking off her brand new tour here in los angeles.

    the forum is technically in south central la, which has recently been changed to the more politically correct “south los angeles”, but i digress.

    twenty years ago madonna bumped and grinded her way onto mtv and it’s been hard to get her out of the public spotlight, try as we might.

    sadly the re-invention has already taken place in the forms of britney and christina, but whatev, maybe the old bag has a few more tricks up her sleeve, who knows.

    you know how hot you are here in LA based on where you are playing. while doing a few shows at the Forum used to be the creme de la creme back in the day of dayglow, fingerless bikergloves, and ripped sweatshirts, it’s no longer the case.

    today in LA you’re not a big dog unless youre headlining at Staples Center.

    tomorrow night the Lakers will headline there, and wednesday Prince begins a five night engagement ending the arguement once and for all as to who of the big stars of ’84 has held up the best: madonna, springsteen, prince, or michael jackson.

    no one is as sexy as prince. madonna keeps trying to push the boundaries, but she never etched the word slave on her face. the king of pop pretends to be extravagant but i dont see him handing out free copies of his new cd to all attendees of his concert as a free gift as thanks for forking over $75 for each ticket.

    and springsteen hasnt written a good song since the title track of tunnel of love back in 1987.

    so prince wins.

    and he looks better.

    and he didnt ever have to get naked with vanilla ice in a sex book, or jump on the kaballah bandwagon, or turn british.

    which is why im going to his show on wednesday and why i will just wait for the inevitable concert movie about this madonna comeback.

    plus i bet she lipsyncs.

    one thing you should know about me. i try to be fair. i wont bash someone unless i have a solution to the situation.

    heres what madonna needs to do if she wants to reinvent herself:

    drop all the dancers and stage shit and props and crap and comeback to us as a real american singer.

    we love her songs.

    we love her.

    come back stripped down in classy long dresses (and a few short naughty ones), stand in front of a barebones band and sing your fucking hits.

    my favorite records by madonna were during her first reinvention in the 90s.

    1992’s Erotica started the experimentation into electronica, ’94’s Bedtime Stories is probably maddys most complete record of her career, and ’98’s Ray of Light got the critical acclaim that had eluded her for most of her life.

    since then she began to lose her way. Although she had some great tunes on 2000’s Music, the title track was the last good song she’s written in four years.

    is she over the hill?


    is she capable of pulling a tina turner-esque private dancer comeback?


    does anyone think that she’s going to do it this year?

    nope. nope. and nope.

    she might also consider doing a tour of covering nothing but ’80 hits from her former mtv-mates.

    or better yet, do a duet record with the purple one. a double album.

    bing + darren + danielle + flagrant