1. Tuesday, June 29, 2004

    chad from chokey chicken 

    pleaded with me not to write about politics this morning and i will do my best. this is just a fascinating time in world and national politics. to me whats so interesting is…

    ok focus… no politics.

    hot chick called me yesterday. last night to be specific. you know youre in a slump when they call you, and no matter what you cant get them to come over.

    so yap yap yap they call and the good thing is i can get my dishes done while i talk on the phone. but during the middle, near the end, heck, even in the beginning, im trying to close the sale, trying to get them over, trying to find a rendevous spot. anything. its been weeks, america. weeks.

    so i hung up and watched my girl kirsten dunst on letterman and i turned up the sonny rollins and just watched kirsten on tivo slow-mo like a perv. watching the way her mouth moves when she talks. watching the way her hands move super slow as she gestures.

    and the phone rang again, and it was clipper girls cousin. she was crying.

    my experience is you cant get a crying girl into a naked girl within an hour. and as it was 1am, and my bedtime is 2am i figured either i could be a friend or i could be a dick.

    so i laid in my bed and i listened to her cry over her stupid man troubles and at 2ish she sniffled her last sniffle and asked if she could come over and spend the night with me.

    and for some reason i was really pissed off because at the begining of the conversation i was all, why dont you come over and we can talk about this face to face, you know, holding hands and stuff.

    and she was all, no. she could tell that there was something in the works.

    but now that it was 2, and she was done being sad, she wanted someone to hold all night, and someone to be held by, from, however you put it.

    and the highschool boy nerdy fuckup too-nice friend-only tony who had been burned once too many times said fuck that shit. and the bachelorpad always-be-closing-horny-as-fuck tony was all, sure she’ll be here at 2:30a, bang till 3a and get four and a half hours sleep.

    but then the logical part of me said, if youre in a slump, aint no way that girl is gonna come right over and be in the mood for your dumb ass. say no, say no.

    and i dont know if ive ever shown you a picture, but this girl is hot. rocket hot. more than one time ive heard tires screech to a stop when we walked down the street and it wasnt because they eyed the author of the world famous busblog.

    and like a dope i said, sure come on over. and kiddingly i said, but dont try anything fishy.

    and she came over at 2:30, and she told me what a great friend i was.

    and we slept with the window open

    and at 2:35 she was snoring

    and it was funny, the slump had not ended.

    and i fell asleep laughing a dopey happy laugh.

    chokey chicken + the perils of living in 3d + zulieka