1. Monday, June 7, 2004

    sometimes when you strap on your helmet 

    and climb into chopper one you feel like a superstar. a hero. a crimefighter.

    indestructable.

    sometimes you sit in there and you look out at hollywood underneath you and all you see is evil.

    you dont know why this is the case, but sometimes it is, and everything bothers you and nothing goes right and you just want to print up your resume and find a better place for a better day.

    and weirdly its not enough that reagans dead.

    and oddly its not enough that most intelligent people, or enough people old enough to remember that horror show agree with you that the original forrest gump is gone.

    not tom waits on the winamp

    or the hottest girl in class sitting on your desk kicking her legs slowly showing off her new pastel capris.

    and whats so ironic about all off this is its not the ulcers that are going to kick me out of the xbi, or the miserable job reviews, or the lousy pay, or thankless work, or the wizzing bullets, or the lack of oppportunity

    its going to be this gd carpel tunnel.

    what a pussyass way to have to leave this, the toughest most badass undercover underground vigilante group of superheroes since the lonesome masked men of the dark ages.

    its so pathetic

    im so ashamed.

    theres a great pension that the xbi gives to guys who get hurt in the line of duty and i dont even want it im so ashamed.

    its like getting paid for an ingrown toenail.

    i almost want to tell them to cut my hands off at the elbow and give me some bionic shit to be able to get my shit together again

    but i wont

    cuz they will.

    and maybe i will have to start looking at how to be a highschool substitute teacher after all.

    like a bitch.

    jane has a fake blog and she linked me + splinky added pics from her trip + kitty also has cool pics