cuz im such a fucking stud.
i heard the telephone ring inside and i thought who could be calling at this hour.
i heard my voice announce caller i-d say “trouble” which i attribute to a few of the women who know my phone number particularilly those who are either not of legal drinking age or not of legal talking on the phone age or the daughter of someone who — well, you get the picture.
the caller id said “trouble” and it startled me and i stretched the garden hose forgetting that there was a hole in it about ten feet from where the nozzle is and the spray from the hole bounced off a stepping stone, squirting me on the side of the pajama dousing me and getting the stairs all wet.
at first the rush was shocking and disturbing but i faught the hose, lost, while eventually shutting off the water.
i climbed the stairs and went into my pajama closet and found a new set of tops and bottoms. stripped. towel dried. laughed. put on the dry clothes and retrieved my message.
it was that one girl.
the tall one.
lots were tall. fine. the tall young un.
giggling as they always do. with her friend as they always are.
the message sounded happy but urgent. dude you better pick up your phone she said.
so i called her back and within minutes they were at my house drinking looking around the place eating and then finally sitting down.
they said they wanted to read my mind.
oh no you dont.
oh yes we do.
and while one lit candles the other found the remote and turned off the tv and then asked me to put something good into the stereo
sonny rollins. blue 7.
and one got on one side of me
and the other got on the other side.
and they both looked at me.
i had just shaved my head real good.
my face was smooth too.
one said what are those bumps on your face
sometimes when i havent shaved in a while that will happen
and then they started to read.
and then they started to cry.
and soon one shook the other out of it.
then they sat on my porch and had a smoke
not even realizing that the stair was still wet.